Michigan lost to Louisville last night and I could care less.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I am a Michigan sports fan and I watched the game in its entirety. I rejoiced and was “happy, happy, happy” when they vaulted to an early lead. I was mildly irritated when they gave the lead away by the end of the first half. I even frowned a bit when the final buzzer sounded and the Louisville bench erupted into celebration.

Then I went to bed and slept like a baby.

It's not that I don't give a sh*t or that I COULDN'T care less, it's just that the destruction of the economy and the culture rot infecting this country kinda takes precedent in my priority sphere.

 

Let me demonstrate with a visual. My level of caring about some basketball game falls around the letter ‘B’ (below). My level of concern for the legal massacre of innocent babies to the tune of over 3,000 per day? My concern that my faith/family/freedoms are under daily assault by the progressive machine?… How much do I care about the destruction by the left of a once great country?  Plot it somewhere off the chart to the right of 'C' toward infinity. 

THE GEOMETRIC RAY OF CARING
A-B------------------------------C--->

If the amount of caring about something could be quantified and categorized in degrees on a geometric ray displayed horizontally from left to right, whereby the left endpoint 'A' represents a total lack of empathy dedicated to a subject, and every successive point traveling to the right along the ray towards the arrowhead symbolizing infinity is a measureable increase in the amount of concern I feel - I am never quite able to reach a "full capacity" of caring, as there is always a possibility for additional solicitude. If I were to declare, "I could care less" as my position on this ray for a certain topic, it would mean that I was dedicating some degree of burden, albeit potentially just an infinitesimal sliver('B'). If "I could care less", then by definition, "I care more than nothing". Maybe a lot more, in which case I could specify by stating "I could care tremendously less" which implies a simplified version as "I care"('C'). However, if I am located at endpoint 'A', it means my level of "care" is a black void of total and utter indifference. That is to say that "I couldn't care less".

Tomorrow's lesson, a pie graph of "not giving a sh*t" and  "People who claim to give 110%". Please remember to bring your protractors. Class dismissed.