BREAKING: Laura Dowling, the White House's head florist since 2009, was recently let go under mysterious circumstances and "was escorted from the building."
What may be even more bizarre is what happened next. This Chattering Teeth reporter has just learned that House Speaker John Boehner has invited Dowling to address a joint session of Congress next week about floral artistry, and he didn't first consult with the administration.
Boehner defended his decision stating, "I relate to Laura's signature relaxed arrangements using a vegetable for a centerpiece. For want of a better name, I call it her 'Speaker of the Bouquet'."
"I wanted to make sure that there was no interference. Nobody, including me, wants to see Michelle go nuclear!"
No replacement for White House Flower Czar has yet been named. If interested, be forewarned of the following duties and disclaimer from the job posting: Additional duties to include upkeep of the president's secret garden patch. Applicants with any known allergies to cannabis, opium poppy or processed coca leaves need not apply.