Sunday, November 20, 2016

SHOCK! Harambe's Ghost Meets With Trump

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani are said to be out - Harambe's ghost likely has the inside track for secretary of state, at least according to this oft-used super secret Chattering Teeth blog informant who wishes to remain anonymous (or maybe he said he wished to remain "inebriated"?)

In any case, after interrogating my source in the alley adjacent to Trump's downtown Manhattan skyscraper (and polishing off his last bottle of Ripple), we witnessed what appeared to be a large, white and glowing gorilla climbing the outside of the Trump Tower. It was obvious to us that we were watching the ghost of Harambe trying to meet clandestinely with Mr Trump regarding a potential cabinet pick. Why Harambe chose to exit the meeting via the elevator banks a few hours later remains a mystery.


  1. A mystery?
    I expect better investigative journalism from this blog.
    If you want to be in the big leagues, do what they do.
    If you don't know, make something up!

  2. Haha! What can I say, Ed? We ran out of Ripple :)

  3. They stopped making Ripple in 1984 and surviving bottles now fetch $200 and more. You and your buddy should have taken that money and went into the Trump Tower Bar and Grill and got a nice meal and some drinks while "goosing and grabbing" the waitstaff.

  4. Holy cow, Doc! How much for my single souvenir can of Billy Beer? (or did we already discuss that?)