DISCLAIMER: This conversation did not really happen, and is only a fig newton of my over-fertile machinations.
MICHELLE: I do like to shtrut, shtrictly shpeaking.
RYAN: Hillary belongs in pinshtripes and a shtraitjacket.
MICHELLE: She just under a lot of shtress.
RYAN: Trump deshtroyed her.
MICHELLE: That man needs to be cashtrated!
RYAN: Cashtrated? Is that like having your allowance shnipped off?
MICHELLE: I grow shtrawberries in my garden.
RYAN: You sound frushtrated.
MICHELLE: Boy, you look like a shtrange oshtrich!
RYAN: The shtring from your jockshtrap is showing.