Monday, April 13, 2020

Like sands thru the hourglass, so are The Days of of Quarantined Lives

In last week's coronavirus task force soap opera show, a black reporter accused Surgeon General Jerome Adams, who is also black, of being racist: “You’ve said that African-Americans and Latinos should avoid alcohol, drugs, and tobacco." But then you shocked woke white liberals by using terms they deem racist...

Surgeon General Jerome Adams: I said, “do this, if not for yourself, then for your abuela. Do it for your granddaddy, do it for your Big Mama, do it for your pop-pop.” 

Previews of this week's episodes! (Spoiler Alert)

Surgeon General Jerome Adams Doubles Down!

Do it for your Mee Maw, and do it for your Paw Paw.
Don't forget your Meemod. Here comes your Peapod.

and then he REALLY starts to riff!

Here comes your Oompa, followed by your Loompa...
What about your Tauntaun? and your one-armed  Wampa?
Do it for Yoda and do it for Chewbacca...

and then for some reason he broke into a version of Land of 1000 Dances, J Geils style! 

Down in the alley
With Long Tall Sally
Do the mash potato
Do the Alligator
Put you hands on your hips
Let your backbone slip
Do the Detroit Breakdown, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Motor City Shakedown

Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na!!!

[and the corp of reporters leap from their seats to dance in the aisle, all singing and stating they intend to stop with the fake news, and those watching from home burst from their shuttered homes to go to the liquor store... Nancy Pelosi and Ruth Bader Ginsberg spontaneously combust once and for all and there is finally peace on Earth, goodwill towards men.]



  1. HA HA HA HA Hhahahah HAAAAA.

    1. you are influencing my conclusions, but still just a dried humor husk compared to The Diary. But if I made you laugh, then it was a good day!

    2. You got it goin on my friend.

  2. I'm googling youtube for that!
    Send me the link!
    That's hilarious!

    1. You know, I hate to have my funnybones tickled because you are drinking too much :)

  3. Sorry Ed, but I'm Juth notas funee sober