Shoegate

The big news of the day *yawn*:
An Iraqi journalist throws his shoes at President Bush and yells, "It is the farewell kiss, you dog"! I would have loved to see W respond by nailing this guy on the chin with one of his Texas cowboy boots.

"Soles of shoes are considered the ultimate insult in Arab culture. After Saddam Hussein's statue was toppled in Baghdad in April 2003, many onlookers beat the statue's face with their soles."

I find it odd that Arabs consider "all things shoe" as the ultimate insult. In fact, "shoe insults" rank higher than "decapitation". Then again, nothing could start an American playground brouhaha faster than your opponent stating, "your momma wears army boots." Now THEMS fighting words.

I seem to recall Bush 41 mispronouncing "Saddam" as "Saa-Dumb" in the leadup to the first Gulf War. It was considered the ultimate insult because the translation meant "boot licker". It is less widely known that Bush's annunciation of "Hussein" was interpretted to mean "Uday and Qusay wear red stiletto high heels under their traditional Iraqi garb". Kuwait was invaded a short time later.

The Czech Republic also has what we westerners would consider a weird tradition involving shoes. If a man wants to divorce his wife, there is a ritual that must be adhered to. He must announce his intentions by stating, "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee," and then he throws dog poopy on her shoes. At least according to Steve Martin's "wild and crazy" swingin' Czech character.

But I digress. As for the Iraqi shoe throwing journalist, Bush was said to have stated, "If you want the facts, it was a size 10 shoe that he threw, and thankfully made of camel toe hide. I'm just glad his wife wasn't here or I would have been dodging horse shoes."

****************

Debbie Schlussel grades the players in "Shoegate" this way:
Bush Gets "A+" for Shoe-Dodging; Secret Service Gets "F"; Thrower Tries Out for New NFL "Dearborn Jihadists"

Whoever headed this shift needs to be reassigned to checking fake currency in South Dakota. Not only did the guy succeed in throwing one shoe at the Prez, but had time to "reload" and throw the second one, too. And his aim was perfect and unfettered each time (great passer--get him a tryout with the new NFL Franchise that will replace the Lions, the Dearborn Jihadists).

That is an excellent point. Certainly, we need our presidential body guards to be gunslingers, but when lesser force is required, they ought to be adept as "shoeslingers". Had these agents been trained at this skill, at the first sign of trouble from this Iraqi journalist, he would have had 10 pairs of keds winding around his head like a tetherball wrapping it's post.

Is there an American female youth in training somewhere in farm flyover for this eventuality, or is she part of a shoe throwing domestic terrorist group?

Dealers (and brother) defending Detroit

Email request from my brother:
"Though a bit lengthy, this is well worth your time... Perhaps you might post it (on your blog) in full, or part?"

Hey, you're one of my big brothers and I was raised not to defy you (under penalty of a serious a## whooping). Here it is "in part", with a link in the intro to the full article.

Incredible editorial from a Ford Dealer in the Pittsburgh Region....Attached is a well written "Letter to the Editor" from Elkins Fordland:

Editor: As I watch the coverage of the fate of the U.S. auto industry, one alarming and frustrating fact hits me right between the eyes. The fate of our nation's economic survival is in the hands of some congressmen who are completely out of touch and act without knowledge of an industry that affects almost every person in our nation. The same lack of knowledge is shared with many journalists whom are irresponsible when influencing the opinion of millions of viewers...

Jim Jackson on Fox News

Does Rush read CT?

Is broadcast guru and doctor of democracy Rush Limbaugh one of the 50+ daily closet Chattering Teeth readers?

Let me show you why I think he may be. First, this little diddy from none other than Reverend Jeremiah "Punxsutawney" Wright, who recently popped up from his gopher hole at The Trinity Church in Chicago:

"Today is December 7th, the day that this government killed over 80,000 Japanese civilians at Hiroshima in 1941, two days before killing an additional 64,000 Japanese civilians at Nagasaki by dropping nuclear bombs on innocent people."

Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... December 7th, the day that lives in infamy and all, was actually the day that Japan dropped bombs on US at Pearl Harbor. But don't worry about your error. Details kill. If you get too far into the weeds on that pulpit of yours, if you produce a 1,500- or 1,600-word sermon, you're going to get hung up on all the details and we're never going to get to your principles - that being your hating America. (hat tip to Tom "Puff" Daschle)

Anyways, back to my assertion that The Great Mr. Limbaugh is a CT reader. My lunchbreak started like many others yesterday. I jumped in the car, Took out my S&M Barbie from the glove compartment and seat belted her in the passenger seat, and tuned the radio to Rush Limbaugh's program.

Rush was talking about "Punxsutawney" Wright's blunder, and had this to say:

Here's how the Chicago Tribune reports it: "Noting the date, Dec. 7, which marks the anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, Wright instead chose to focus on the thousands of Japanese civilians who died four years later when the US dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima." (laugh track) It's a sitcom, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, forget the fact that the Obamas listened to this guy. The exigencies of national politics had rescued them from Wright's silliness. This is just hilarious. "Wright chose instead," as though he knew what he was saying was wrong...

I almost choked on my peanutbutter and jelly sandwich when I heard the laugh track and the comparison of Wright's blatherings to dialog from a TV sitcom. I could tell by the look on S&M Barbie's face that she had caught the reference also. It was I, after all, that first made this Wright comparison back in April to a sitcom (complete with the laugh track), but I was more specific as I compared Wright and Obama to Sanford and Son. "I'm coming Weezy!" (hat tip to The One)

"So Rush inserts a laugh track one time on his show. He's not the first to do that. All that proves DaBlade, is your narcissistic habit of linking to yourself repeatedly."

But he did it many times over the course of his broadcast yesterday. There was also this quote from David Gergen, interviewed by CNN's Cooper Anderson, comparing Obama to Truman: "He was an honest man who came out of a corrupt system, and I think that we've always regarded him as one of our best and most honest presidents, so I think it's unfair to say to that about Obama, because he comes out of this milieu, which has a lot of this corruption, that he himself, he seems to have come out of this with a lot of innocence. (laugh track)"

Coincidence you say? Maybe. But consider his own words...

RUSH: ...that doesn't sound like laughter? Well, you know why it doesn't sound like laughter? It's because we had to download it from the Internet because our sound effects guy can't be found. Oh, you got a couple more? Here, let's just audition the laugh tracks right now, play a couple more. (playing of laugh tracks)

Ah ha! he pulled the laugh tracks from "the internets", isn't it also possible that he lifted the idea of associating Wright to a TV sitcom from yours truly? One more piece of evidence is a comment in that now famous Chattering Teeth Sanford and Son post, "PIC-PIC said...Blade, I hope you don't mind but I emailed El Rushbo about this and kinda gave him permission to use this. So please don't sue him if something like this shows up on his program. You are getting too good!!!"

Still not convinced? What do you think comes up number one (of almost 70,000 hits) on a google search of "Wright laugh track"?

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Wright+laugh+track+

So I'll end today's lecture with a welcome to Rush out there in the cyber-audience. Rush, you officially have my permission to use all you deem worthy from your loyal 24/7 fans here at Chattering Teeth. "What's that Barbie? uh huh, uh huh. Barbie says we wouldn't be upset with a link back if you insisted."

Blago V Drago

SEAT FOR SALE

Are Blagojevich tapes enough evidence to convict? A better question is, does the typical Obama voter even care? I suspect the answer to that is "no", even if The One's fingerprints are found on Blagoje-biotch's buffon hairdo.

THIS BLOG SEEKS BAILOUT $

PICTURED: This is NOT Illinois Gov. Rod Blagoje-biotch, but just some other scalper trying to sell a seat to a Red Sox game. As far as we here at Chatteringteeth are concerned, the accusations that Illinois Gov. Rod Blagoje-biotch stood outside the capital with a sign reading: "need a senate seat" are unfounded, unconfirmed, hearsay, gossip, rumor, inuendo, and possibly not even true.


Welcome to potpourri Wednesday.

[THIS] Obama pledges not to smoke in White House. So he's going to go out on the patio? What's 20 secret service agents huddled around him on the White House veranda going to cost us taxpayers? Will the agents sue our already bankrupt government for second hand smoke damage? After the news regarding Illinois governor Rod Blagoje-biotch, Obama must be chain smoking today. (Who knew there was fu**ing corruption in Chicago politics?)

[THIS] I read that Oprah is back to 200 pounds. I haven't seen her in a while, but I think that's terrific that she lost some weight again. I believe it was Oprah who first called Obama "The One". Does this now make her "The One and a Half"?

[THIS] Man arrested after cops find crack in his vomit. I guess it could have been worse. Better for the police to find "crack in your vomit" than the other way around. *sigh* No sense sitting around waxing nostalgic for them college days...

[THIS] Bandits in Drag Make Massive Jewelry Heist at Harry Winston in Paris. Brings to mind a different visual than say Clint Eastwood or John Wayne (or even Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon...) Have criminals lost all self-respect? Can we get a little dignity back when committing felonies please? We're not juveniles here, so how about a little more maturity! As an aside, "Harry Winston" is the legal name of my special purpose.

[THIS] When I first read the headline: Bank to give credit to Chicago plant, I thought to myself, "No wonder we are in such a financial mess!. Unless, of course, the plant in question is a Rhododendron. As everyone knows, Rhododendron's are a much better credit risks than Azaleas. (or actual sub-prime borrowers for that matter)"

[THIS] Dems, White House agree to $15B auto bailout. There will be an overseer of the money, or "car czar". Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, said that Obama would be able to replace any car czar when he takes office Jan. 20. I'm thinking senior advisor David Axelrod for the post. I just think it would be cool to say, "there goes the car czar Axelrod". Obama, Frank, and company holding the purse strings and running GM. Talk about the fox in the henhouse.

Shopping for the wife

This will be my wife and my 22nd Christmas celebrated in marital bliss and I still have major problems finding the right Christmas gift for her (or birthday gift - anniversary gift - any gift for that matter). I think this is because buying the right gift requires something called "shopping". As an aside, an anagram for "marital bliss" is "Bail Arm Slits", but that has nothing to do with the price of tea in China. I would certainly not infer any relationship between those two concepts. I just found it peculiar. But I digress. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Shopping. I really do treat it like a military operation. Plan the entry point; get in; acquire the gift (identified in the the newspaper ad with the item circled by the spouse for easy identification); have an exit strategy and get out!

Sometimes the wife doesn't give me clear instructions and a cheat sheet with the store and item. Rather, she makes the mistake of giving me a "concept" of what she would like. In these cases, I am forced to adopt the "go it alone" shopping strategy. In this strategy, there is no time to consider such a thing as "price". If you find an item that even remotely resembles the wife's description, just GET IT! You already know there is somewhere across town where this item is on sale, and that you are an idiot for overspending. You get that. That's just part of the battlefield landscape you are given no choice in. So go with it!

On the rare occasion I have found myself in the mall with the wife, she always wanders to the perfume counter, dragging me on her heels. "Smell this" she'll say, as she is already spraying a different scent from a different miniature bottle onto a different part of her clothing. "Smell this one now," she'll say. And then the dreaded utterance that requires a response, "which one do you like better?"

For you young fellas: Don't even TRY to answer this question. It is a trick question. I'm not even sure that your lady can tell the difference between all of those mixed up perfumes... Nah, on second thought she definitely can tell the difference. Woman have extra smell cells or something.

So you go back to the mall without the spouse in hopes of buying the right perfume (hey, you're not a complete idiot! You got the hint from her as loud as if she would have screamed "BUY THIS FOR ME!"). You find the maze of perfume counters and immediately feel like a rat trying to find the right turns that will reward you with cheese. You stumble up to a counter where you are 60% sure is the correct vendor (hey, better than 50%! Can she expect better than those odds?). The saleswoman is like a shark with blood in the water. It is a veritable feeding frenzy, as she somehow convinces me that I would be an idiot if I bought just a small bottle of perfume. NO, I had to buy this scent in powder, lotion, gaseous, and solid forms, all boxed up in a gift box that required me pulling the car around and backing up to their loading dock.

This year will be different. I have learned from my mistakes of the past. This year I have found the perfect gift that will also surprise her. I know it's the perfect gift because professors from Purdue University are saying so. They have apparently discovered seven different bat species and two turtles, and they are auctioning the naming rights.

Purdue has a gift idea for you: Name a new species of bat:

Would you like to name a bat species for a family member or friend this holiday season, and help support important environmental research and conservation efforts?

This unique species is a rare family member of the little yellow bat, the smallest known bats in the New World. They weigh less than a tablespoon of water, and are sensitive environmental sentinels of their habitat.

The wife will be so surprised and finally realize I'm not the clueless shopping idiot she takes me for. So next time you find yourself trekking thru the backwoods of a Brazilian rainforest and you stumble upon a little yellow bat, say "hi" to "Mrs. DaBlade" for me.

President Bush meets with Barbara Streisand without preconditions

BLOG KEY: Barbara Streisand = ("B.S.")
B.S. joins Morgan Freeman, country singer George Jones, dancer and choreographer Twyla Tharp and musicians Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey of The Who as this year's recipients of the Kennedy Center Honors.

"The honors recognize individuals who have had an impact on American culture through the performing arts, part of the living memorial to President John F. Kennedy."

"Impact on American culture"? You mean like a planet-killing comet? (hat tip to Freeman's work in the movie Deep Impact). And as much as I like The Who, does "Momma's Got A Squeezebox" really justify a White House culture awards ceremony?

The White House is still home for President Bush and family (at least for a few more weeks), and I have to wonder why he didn't put his foot down and state unequivocally that there would be no B.S. allowed.

My blog staff tells me not to say this, but I’m going to say it anyway. you could literally smell B.S. coming into the White House. It may be descriptive but it’s true. (hat tip to Harry Reid, for his "smelly tourists" inspiration)

Don't misunderstand, I'm not suggesting that B.S. should be waterboarded for her ignorance (although this thought HAS to have crossed the president's mind). I'm simply stating that she should have been left off the A-list. I will say that I do enjoy visiting B.S.'s website on occasion for her "thought of the day". How's that for an oxymoron?

I send my CSI BS squad to her posts and they have yet to uncover any clues that she has ever enjoyed a worthy and intelligent thought. She is a far leftwing nutjob partisan hack. Here is a jewel from her latest post (11/5):

After 2 stolen elections, this time, in this election over 57 million Americans made their voices heard. I am so proud of our country today… miraculously overnight we have regained the respect of the world. From England to Africa, people are celebrating Barack Obama’s victory…

Yikes! I'm so happy that, just like First Lady messiah-elect Michelle, she is finally "proud of her country." And the respect thingy from the rest of the world. Very important. Maybe the islamo-terrorists that recently targeted Americans, British, and yes, "Jews" in Mumbai haven't gotten this great news.

B.S. is quoted as saying that, "Art transcends politics this weekend". I think she is overestimating her talents in both arenas. I hear that B.S. is also a singer and an actress. Yeah sure, just like Michael Moore is a "documentary film maker".

Obama to SPEND us out of crisis

The entire Obama plan outlined in this Politico piece titled, "Obama unveils 21st Century New Deal" was captured in Drudge's headline link in all caps: JOBS, ROADS, BRIDGES, SCHOOLS, BROADBAND, ELECTRONIC MEDICAL RECORDS, ENERGY.

Nothing further needed to be said. SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!

Hey America. We're going to party like it's your birthday!


Let me spend a second here to remind you all that the economic crisis we are spending time dealing with was caused by over-spending and living beyond our means. Therefore, Obama's brilliant "change" solution is to spend us out of this spending crisis. Whew, I'm spent!

Democrats proverbially twisted banks' arms through Fannie and Freddie, because "everyone has a right to a home" regardless of their ability to pay for it don'tchaknow. Barney Frank and cohorts were running their own version of the popular TV show Extreme Makeover, trying to build a house for everyone. But the sponsors footing the bill for this show are you and me (assuming that you are also one of the "rich" who pays taxes).

So let's look closer at what is in Santa Obama's goodie bag.

ROADS AND BRIDGES: “[W]e will create millions of jobs by making the single largest new investment in our national infrastructure since the creation of the federal highway system in the 1950s. We’ll invest your precious tax dollars in new and smarter ways, and we’ll set a simple rule – use it or lose it. If a state doesn’t act quickly to invest in roads and bridges in their communities, they’ll lose the money.”

"...pledging the largest new investment in roads and bridges since President Dwight D. Eisenhower built the Interstate system in the late 1950s..."

I'm sure there won't be a "problem" of states "not acting quickly enough" in slopping from the trough.

I'll see your boondoggle and raise you a Hoover flag.

Why doesn't Obama just demand that carmakers design cars that don't use roads and bridges?

Democrats could tie this string to their bailout money. They could just add this requirement to all of the other requirements and CAFE standards demanded upon them that handicap their ability to compete. This would save us from having to spend any more money on roads and bridges. Of course, these "George Jetson" mobiles would have to be hybrids of some sort. Goes without saying.

SCHOOLS: “[M]y economic recovery plan will launch the most sweeping effort to modernize and upgrade school buildings that this country has ever seen. We will repair broken schools, make them energy-efficient, and put new computers in our classrooms. Because to help our children compete in a 21st century economy, we need to send them to 21st century schools.”

And we all know that spending money on brick and mortar for our public schools will increase our children's knowledge. That's why you are sending your kids to private school (hey! Just like me!). Listen Obama. We all know how you got elected (howobamagotelected.com). All Democrats have a need to keep the voting public ignorant and victimized, which is in direct conflict to "help(ing) our children compete in a 21st century economy." But I have to admit that - as a soundbite - it sounds good! Very eloquent and superfluous of you! (My, my. isn't that young man such a good communicator? I truly believe in "hope" and "change", and I feel he really cares about us. *sniff* ... Hug?")

There's more in his goodie bag -blah blah blah, but I get depressed thinking about Obama for very long stretches at a time, and I have reached my limit for the day. I'm starting to see Obama playing Steve Martin's charcter (Navin Johnson) from The Jerk. Specifically, the scene where Johnson, pants around his ankles, duckwalks around picking up random items. just replace the original items below with one of these terms [ROADS, BRIDGES, SCHOOLS, BROADBAND, ELECTRONIC MEDICAL RECORDS, ENERGY]

"...I don't need anything except this. [picks up an ashtray] And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair."

Satriani and Coldplay: chocolate in my peanutbutter

Joe Satriana is suing Coldplay, accusing them of stealing his song. Is Coldplay's Grammy-winning "Viva La Vida" really just a knockoff of Satriana's "If I Could Fly"?

Coldplay Plagiarism (?)


I stumbled upon Satriani's "Surfing with the Alien" CD many years ago and immediately took to it. I purchased "The Extremist" after that, so I guess you could call me a Satriani fan. My oldest son (the college boy) is a Coldplay fan. I just hope that this copyright infringement lawsuit doesn't drive a wedge between my son and I.

So did Coldplay steal from Satriani? I don't know. I'm not musically talented and would have no clue what the odds are for two bands to find these same rythyms independently. What I do know is what I like, and I like Joe Satriani playing guitar WITH Coldplay. Best of both worlds, in my opinion. Like chocolate in my peanutbutter.

Franken is a ballot short of a full recount (if you get my drift)

As of Wednesday night, Norm Coleman led Al Franken by 316 votes in this Minnesota Senate race with 98 percent of the ballots counted.

That's all I got from this article before my eyes started to glaze over. I mean, there was talk of 133 disenfranchised mystery voters and ballot challenges. But with the dems supermajority no longer at stake (and this being about Al Franken), who outside of Minnesota would care? Maybe the three or four libs that actually listened to his boring a(blog edit) radio show - but I'm betting they're ice fishing this week.

Then I see this: Al Franken's campaign is calling for the "systematic forensic search" of a Lutheran Church used as a polling station on Election Day in hopes of finding 133 missing ballots.

Whenever Franken is in the news, I always think of him from the old SNL "Weekend Update" skit where he plays a field reporter live-feeding his signal via satellite dish strapped to his noggin. I always visualize the stupid dish floating above Stuart Smalley's vacuous skull, sorta like the big cartoon cowboy hat floating above the characters in the Arbys commercials. Not because he has ever made me laugh, But because I believe him to be dangerously deranged. Assaulting and desecrating this church for votes should remove all doubts on that.

Certainly, Obama should be able to find a suitable post for this nutjob in his administration. Permanently affix the dish thingy to his head with some bolts, put him in a dingy off the shores of Somalia and have him search for the pirates. Or Franken could be plugged into the grid as a mobile hostile missile launch detector for the defense department. Nah, that would assume both the administration and Franken himself give a high priority to national defense.

*thinking*

I got it! Franken could be Obama's first supreme court appointment. I don't think he would be any crazier than Ruth "Buzzi" Ginsburg.

Oh My Christmas Tree

PICTURED: 4 boys enjoying a hay ride on their way to secure the Farkle family Christmas tree. Admittedly, one of these boys appears to be enjoying this ride more than his cousins. Either that, or his scarf is a little too tight. (Hey fellow Farkles - I have many more pictures from our adventures this year :)


Three Farkle family brothers, our wives and 8 kids went on the traditional Christmas tree hunt the day after Thanksgiving. It was a lot of fun, regardless of the sour expression on the youngsters face above. We don't get to do this as a family every year any more because of busy schedules and other lame excuses.

I love the look and smell of a real Christmas tree in the house. Reminds me of my youth. I tend to cling to tradition (as well as my gun and religion). In fact, until a few years ago I was still putting the tree in a pail surrounded by rocks - just like my dad used to do. Until... the incident. *dramatic pause and leaving as a cliff-hanger*

The point is - a live and thriving Spruce tree that is soaking up the rain and the sunshine and growing in the field is never truly happy until it is freed from it's condition (with our help and the help of a jagged-toothed saw), tied on the roof of a car (leaking it's sappy life's blood from it's stump) it's lifeless corpse erected in a warm house and decorated with colorful lights and ornaments.

In the spirit of Obama's election and the "born alive" abortion legislation, I vow that if the tree I cut down somehow survives this ordeal (rootless and decapitated) I will free it back to the field.

My day was made merrier and brighter when I thought of this video during the search for our special tree...


The Michigan economy may be in a "downward climb", but the live Christmas Tree farms are thriving - according to this Detroit News article:

Michigan's multimillion dollar Christmas tree industry apparently is off to a strong start with retailers and tree lots reporting decent weekend sales, according to industry experts.

The weekend following Thanksgiving is the unofficial start of the fresh-cut Christmas tree season. Marsha Gray, executive director of the Michigan Christmas Tree Association, polled tree farmers Monday, and they reported higher-than-average sales...

Historically we see that when the economy is a little rough, people tend to buy live trees," she said. "That's because they're staying home and not traveling.

Michigan. We may not manufacture cars much longer, but we still grow trees here!

Crisis solved!

Links from You're The Man Now Dog

Ben Bernanke's Magic Currency Generator
Problem solved!

Bernanke Saves Wall Street
(the chairman formerly known as) Bernanke passing out the goodies!

Arnold and Picard duel banjos
In the "just because" department. Seriously, who wouldn't want to see that?

Abortion Operation: the new board game for libs

NEW from Chattering Teeth Toys - A board game that's fun for the whole family social group of individuals living under your roof! Ages 9 to adult (fetuses through 8 don't get to play - HAHAHA!).

Everyone remembers the original Operation game of skill and precision, with the object being for players to take turns extracting funny plastic body parts from Cavity Sam without touching the sides with the forceps and setting off the buzzer. NOTE: Remember kids, the buzzer represents "nicking an artery" on your patient, Cavity Sam, likely causing him to bleed to death on your table (Ha Ha!). "Sorry Mary, looks like you severed Sam's carotid artery going for the Adam's Apple! Pass the forceps, it's Johnny's turn now!"

Now comes the sequel - Abortion Operation. Cavity Sam does not return, as he has apparently run off with a hooker from Vegas. However, Sam's big-nosed ex-old-lady is here, and she is carrying Sam's unwanted tissue mass! Lucky for you that Egocentric Sally has decided it's not real convenient for her to carry this tissue mass to term. Pass the forceps, we're going in!

OBJECT:
Players take turns on Egocentric Sally by removing, or attempting to remove, the fetus. Remember kids, don't touch the sides of Sally's female parts! They are all there solely for the purpose of satisfying her sexual promiscuity and nothing more!

LITTLE JOHNNY: "Hey announcer guy, this bloody game part you called a "fetus" thingy looks like a baby!"

ANNOUNCER GUY: Not so fast Little Johnny. It is not really a baby until it has successfully evacuated from Egocentric Sally's uterous "born alive". Oh wait, according to Barack Obama, you still have a right to finish it off. infanticide smanticide! Stick those scissors into the moving fetus Johnny! Celebrate Egocentric Sally's "right to choose" and other made up liberal "rights" while having fun dismembering the fetus for 1000 points!

But don't stop there! Grab yourself some extra points by giving Egocentric Sally some improvements. Get +200 points for giving her a successful breast enhancement procedure; +100 points for varicose vein removal; +25 points for a nose job; +1000 for a manicure. Yes, Egocentric Sally's middle name is narcissist, but why be redundantly repetitive by stating the obvious again and again repetitively? She's a liberal after all.

But wait! Abortion Operation is not just a game for Godless libs! This is a game for all Obama voters to enjoy, including you CASINO Catholics (Catholic As Stated In Name Only).

ABORTION OPERATION was the number one seller this Black Friday weekend! Games were flying off the Wal Mart shelves faster than a bad check from a Democrat. Hurry and get yours today!

Shop at Chattering Teeth Toysthis Christmas holiday season (or "winter solstice" if you prefer).

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More gifts from Chattering Teeth Toys:
Name an abortion after someone with the International Abortion Registry

Palin's PET Farm set

Obama filling out his team of "Bad News Bears"

It's a long and painful process to watch Obama filling power positions and cabinet posts with his lib pals and Clinton cronies. It's sort of like watching the Detroit Lions in slow motion on draft day over the last few decades. You know in advance that the team is a loser, and any new and promising players they select will eventually only add to their (and your) woes.

You don't like my analogy? The Detroit Lions may not have spent the last twenty years "worshipping" in a racist church or paling around with terrorists, but they have set the football bar of futility as low as it can possibly go (0-16?). It is my prediction that the Obama administration will share this bar of futility. I hope I'm wrong about that, I sincerely do. But then again I root for the Lions every year. *sigh* Look where that gets me.

Let me make one thing clear - As a Michigan resident and a self-described Lions fan, I do not feel an obligation to apology to the rest of the football nation for being subjected to the Lion's Thanksgiving debacle. I do not buy tickets to their games, nor do I purchase Detroit Lions licensed merchandise of any kind. In other words, I do not financially prop up this Ford-owned regime, assuring it's continuation. That responsibility sits squarely on the shoulders of those of you who do.

Likewise, I do not take any responsibility for the disaster that will be these next four years under Obama. I didn't vote him and I refuse to take an ounce of blame for his buffoonery because I am an American. However, unlike the Lions game in which I can turn the channel on the TV, I will find it impossible to ignore the fallout from Obamas "third and outs" and multiple fumbles and interceptions.

The American voters threw a "hail Mary" pass of "hope and change" this election cycle because of the economic meltdown in the financial markets. With Obama's election, the pass was intercepted by the same team that caused this economic crisis, yet 53% of the fans don't get it.

Tailgating before the game:
A large chunk of the 53% that make up the Obama voter is proudly displaying some type of pro Obama bumper sticker on their vehicle. It's like they are walking around wearing a sign that says "Hey, look at me! I'm ignorant!" Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the warning. I would expect this on every mini two-door hybrid that also had peace signs on every window and was filled with thick dope smoke. But many of these vehicles are otherwise normal looking. I wonder how long it will take before they start ripping them off their own cars in embarrasment when it is completely obvious (except maybe to those hybrid driving dope smokers) what a clayhead we have elected.

"Clay"head. Reminds me of the Detroit Lions owner, William Clay ("Clayhead") Ford. See how we've come back to the Lions full circle? Ford has owned the team since 1963 and they have been from bad to horrible ever since. His latest experiment of Matt Millen as GM brought us these memories: Coach Marty Mornhinweg and quarterback Joey Harrington. *ouch*

That's been the Lions biggest problem. Failure to accurately assess talent. Games are won in the trenches. The offensive line (domestic policy) and the defensive front line (national security and defense). Sound familiar Obama?

The part of Lions coach Rod Marinelli is being played by Rahm Emanuel as White House chief of staff. Other top Obama draft picks to make you cringe and look for a bag to put over your head: Secretary of state, Hillary Rodham Clinton; Tom Daschle, secretary of Health and Human Services; Bill Richardson, Commerce secretary...

"With the first selection in the 2008 Presidential draft, the United States picks Barack Obama, quarterback from the streets of Chicago." BOO!!!!