Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What is this "Earth Day"?

If you're like me, then you secretly hope that lederhosen becomes mainstream as business-casual attire in this country. If you're like me, you also use Google to "seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where..." OK, enough of the Star Trek theme. The truth is, if I can't learn something I didn't know before (knowledge acquired in other people's entire lifetimes) in a quick 5-minute internet search engine surf, then it isn't worth learning in my book. So it was today, when I learned about something called "Earth Day".

So I begin with the simply queery, What is this "Earth Day", and why do I feel an urge to wear a tie-dyed T-shirt? Let's go surfin' to find out. My first discovery: Google is run by hippies?

Google used a rain forest theme today, and if I'm not mistaken, that's a Snapper wading in the brook by the second "g". So my journey to learn continues. In my research, I discovered that Earth Day is kind of like a religious experience for those who celebrate it. I also learned that the vast majority of "Earthers" smoke (or have smoked in their lifetime) a large quantity of the natural earth-grown herb, marijuana.

Many worshippers of Earth Day apparently pray to a deity figure called Gaia, or Mother Earth. I'm not sure if she is a drug-induced hallucination, a bit of undigested potatoe, or Al Gore in drag. But in any case, all I can say is, "Gaia, you go girl"! From The greenwoman:
Gaia is our earth mother, who nourishes, heals, and teaches us. At The Gaia School we believe that our teacher is the earth itself. Through developing a deeper connection to the earth we heal ourselves- mind, body, and soul. Gaia is our guide, her spirit supporting us through our life walk. Her hands- the trees, plants, and animals, all her many voices here to teach and guide us back to wholeness. We work with the spirits of Gaia to find our way back to union with her and all of life.

Wow. This broad gets around! No wonder this day is such a big deal! Apparently, Gaia lives in a shack in the woods, sort of like the Unabomber did. Her surroundings are green with foliage of all kinds. "There are plants and birds and rocks and things..." Trees, grasses, flowers, bushes, even weeds! It seems all living plants are worthy in Mother Earths's eyes and should be held in high esteem by her followers (although apparently human fetuses have no value other than to provide them mulch).

Well, that ends today's journey of discovery. I hope you have learned something bercause I know I did. Unfortunately I have to say goodbye as I need to make a big ol' carbon footprint (if you get my drift).

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