Monday, August 3, 2009

Back taxes

Dear blog,
I woke up a little late this morning so I don't have time for you today. My private doctor forgot to take me off the propofol drip he administers to me for my insomnia. The "Milk of amnesia" drip has the side benefit of helping me forget my Libmares.

None of the above is true, blog, except for the part about waking up late. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I did not throw my back out brushing my teeth like I did a month or so ago. The bad news is that I threw my back out. It's not that bad really, it only hurts when I move. I finally had a weekend to putz around the yard with a small chainsaw and long-handled axe. Don't worry, no woodland creatures were the target of my wrath. I did manage to disembowel a few of the smaller tree stumps that I had been forced to mow around.

Did I mention that my back hurts? I'm sure it has nothing to do with the violent axe swings and body contortions while weilding the nightmare on 3rd street chainsaw. See, this is exactly why I don't exercise on a regular basis. Occasional violent physical abuses to my body wrapped between months of sedentary couch-potato sitting, pencil-pushing easy living. Works for me.

Just have to remind myself to bend at the knees while brushing.



  1. Just remember not to take the 'pain-killers' the government will send you!

  2. Fortunately, you don't often swing your golf club in a violent manner, at least not until you have hit the ball and realized it went into the pond. You're on light duty until Friday mister-I need you in tip-top form for golf Thursday.

  3. 24 hours on the couch watching sports will help. If it doesn't, repeat for four more days.
    Cheeseburgers and beverages help too.
    Good luck.

  4. I have Dr. Conrad Murray's phone number if you really, REALLY need it.

  5. Linda- Which color pills were those again?
    Pic Pic- I have several discs in tip top shape and will be ready to go Thursday! Blog to follow on Friday.
    Mr. Dart- You are now officially my obamacare physician. Please schedule my followup visit sometime next decade (if you can work me in that soon).
    RK- No thank you! I'm feeling much better suddenly!

  6. Uh, the little blue ones? Or are they for something else? I'm so old, I forgot!

    I think I'll have Mr. Dart be my physician too. The doc I have in my town really thinks I need to lose 'some weight' and 'exercise'.

  7. Don't move to the UK, they're stopping pain shots for back sufferers

  8. Ouch, DaBlade...all the best with that back pain!

    you CRACK me up (your comment at my blog is so funny)....but don't make yourself laugh too hard! That and a toothbrush can be dangerous!