Friday, October 9, 2009

Obama Nobel Peace Prize, and other unexplained conundrums

Congratulations *choke* to Barack Obama, who now joins Jimmy Carter as a Nobel Peace Prize winner (and coincidentally as the worst and second-to-worst president in our nation's history). Or did they say, "Peas Prize"? Obama and Carter, two peas in a pod.

"Obama Nobel Peace Prize" makes as much sense as "A Macabre Bee Nipple Zoo".

That's because each phrase is an anagram of the other. For the uninitiated, that means the two phrases above use exactly the same letters, no more, no less.

"DaBlade, who cares about a bunch of mixed-up letters, and what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

A careful study and accurate interpretation of two anagrams can lead to a deeper understanding of the world that is more powerful than any Nostradamus prophesy.

I've said it before folks, "anagram reading can be dangerous in the wrong hands, so do not try this at home. The trick in anagram reading is being able to separate the meaningful words and phrases from the... uhhh... not meaningful word thingys. Being able to separate the wheat from the... the stuff that's not the wheat... Much of it (the output) is gobbledy gook readily identified by those with the gift. I hate to be "unmodest", but I have that gift of word... stuff.

I'm hoping my gift can also help me answer two questions that have been plaguing my mind. First, how in the hell does Obama win the Nobel Peace Prize? Secondly, do bees really have nipples?

To answer the first question, I scribbled the letters in the phrase "Obama Nobel Peace Prize" on a yellowed and tattered legal pad and went to work.

First anagram up: MEN RIP A PEACEABLE BOZO

Using my innate skills, I quickly determined that "peaceable bozo" referred to none other than our president, Barack Hussein Obama. Bozo is obviously a very famous clown, and clowns (like Obama) are known as peace-loving and smiling individuals (except for the occasional clown child-serial killer). The "men rip" portion of the anagram simply states the truism that all men of peace have been ridiculed throughout the ages.

I don't know if Bozo ever bowed deeply from his waist to every Islamist monarch, tyrant, or despot - or if he ever joined a reading club with various third-world thugs, but I do know this... Bozo was not a war-mongering clown who sent 40,000 troops into battle just because some decorated General said it was necessary for victory. No! Nor did Bozo ever deploy a missile defense system in Europe to protect the homeland and our allies. No again! He dug in his very large clown shoes and stuck his bulbous red nose in the air in an act of arrogance and defiance to his war-mongering critics.

What better road to peace than to have all of our weapons refitted with rainbows and silk clown flowers? Obama's rhetorical flourish of appeasement and surrender espoused on every American apology tour he has taken since his corronation have led to an outbreak of world peace! It's also led to a resurgent Soviet Union, a dangerously belligerent and nuclear ambitious Iran, middle east instability by the marganilizing of Israel, and a Rio Olympics in 2012 to name a few, but who's keeping score?

How about this anagram:

An obvious reference to Obama's very successful beer summits. I ask you Fox News-watching rightwing extremists this: Did Ronald Reagan ever have beer keggers on the White House lawn during his two terms in office? The answer is no, and therefore cops continued to act stupidly toward racist black Harvard professors during the '80's.

Other anagrams of the Obama Peace Prize phrase have yet to be decoded, and include:

A Embraceable Ozone Pip (A reference to the upcoming global warming summit where Obama will further tax and trade our future away?)
A Peaceable Zombie Porn (An animated lifeless corpse screwing us... Pelosi?)
A Macabre Oboe Zeppelin (Jimmy Page plays a flute?)
A Imbalance Breeze Poop (Open a window! Someone cut the "Biden"!)

Back to the lab on that whole "do bees have nipples" question...


  1. That's very interesting, and if you would have only used, "Obama wins Nobel" you could have had these interesting anagrams:
    Animal Boob News, Manias Blew On Bo, Wannabe Libs Moo, Amiable Snob Won, and my personal favorite; Lame Baboon Wins.

  2. and coincidentally as the worst and second-to-worst president in our nation's history

    Hadn't thought about that (mostly because I just regained the control of my bodily functions that I lost upon hearing the news). Throw in Al Gore and you have quite an unholy trinity.

  3. "Amiable Snob Won"

    Perfect description

  4. doc- You neglected to heed my warning and now you may suffer a visit from the thought police. Good luck sir.

    Chuck- I can't stop smiling about this myself.

    rk- Is Rosie singing again?

  5. Oprah nearly had an orgasm yesterday announcing the award to Chris Rock and her audience. Now, I like Oprah, but she is as much a racist as I am...only she has money. What is sad is that there were many more people more deserving of this prize still toiling away while Obama the Destroyer is taking the United States back to the ice ages.