President Obama showed up at the Muqata Compound in Ramallah for his noon meeting with Abbas wearing a T-Shirt and sweat pants while bouncing a basketball. Following closely behind Obama was Reggie Love (his "Body Man") and Dennis Rodman (the new "Basketball Peace Diplomat").
"Where are all the Jordanians?," asked a perplexed Obama, as he entered the compound filled with bearded, Keffiyeh-wearing Palestinian Authority terrorists. "You know I'm an Michael Jordan guy and when I heard about all the other Jordanians over here, I said, "SIGN ME UP!" I’m a Bulls guy. (Most of us would say you're a Bull... something)
RODMAN: Where is that short kid with the funny hair cut?
REGGIE: Uhhhh... Do you mean Kim Jung Un, the North Korean leader and starting right guard for the NK Dictators?
RODMAN: Yah, that's him. Man, that cool kid is my new best friend!
Meanwhile, Palestinian militants in Gaza are raining rockets into southern Israel.
REPORTER: "President Obama, will you insist that Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas condemn the rocket attacks?"
OBAMA: "I know the Houston Rocket's are 3rd in the Southwest Division, but I'm tellin' you thaaaat... Jeremy Lin can ball! Granted, he's no Jordanian, but I don't think the Rocket's attack is the problem here."
Obama then spotted the oval trash basket in the corner and decided to use it as a basketball hoop, sending a left-handed hook shot that bounced Abbas' forehead and off the rim of the basket before skittering away.
REGGIE: I guess West Banks are closed on Thursdays bro!
BLOG NARRATOR: And then repeating the catchphrase Dennis started in North Korea that landed him this gig in the Obama Administration, he said...
RODMAN: Obama loves basketball, Abbas loves basketball. Let's start there.
Hakuna Matata, Obama Muqata. It means, "No Worries, No Peace".