It's been two weeks since crack pipe vending machines were discovered on Long Island. Now they are popping up in Washington, and the sales are brisk.
PICTURED: Dianne Feinstein and Senate Democrats gather outside around the crack pipe vending machine in preparation for the Kavanaugh hearing.
Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) - Will the entrepreneur who services this crack pipe vending machine please come and refill it. Cory Booker has bogarted the last batch.
Cory Booker (D-NJ) - I am SPARTACUS!
Mazie Hirono (D-HI) - Just shut up and step up, Cory! Do the right thing for a change and give me a puff on your pipe.
Patrick 'Leaky' Leahy (D-VT) - I just wet myself.
Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) - Sheesshus! I wissh you would ssshtop embarassshing ussssshh!
Li'l Dicky Durbin (D-IL) - Is my fly open?