Sunday, September 2, 2018

Do animals mourn? Do RINOs grieve? Is the Pope Catholic?

What happens when an old elephant dies?

Death rituals in the animal kingdom
The parade of elephants that followed may – in some deep, fundamental way – be no different from those who gather to pay respects to a dignitary lying in state. Over the course of several days, the carcass was visited by five other elephant groups including several families that were completely unrelated (Bushies?) ... The elephants sniffed and poked the body, touching it with their feet and trunks. Even though the carcass had been visited by jackals, hyenas, vultures, (democrats?) and was under the control of lions by the fourth day, the elephants were rarely more than a few hundred metres away during daylight hours.

Hypothetically speaking - I'ts not clear whether the over-sized daughter of the deceased uses the funeral as an occasion to bash a former rival bull of her father. On second thought, I doubt that. I'm guessing actual elephants in the animal kingdom probably keep it classy and instead focus on the celebration of the loved-ones life (even if the crusty old bastard elephant was an asshole).

Researchers also discovered that dolphins will visit and guard the body of one of their own for several days, pushing "at the carcass with their beaks and heads" with some even performing songs through a series of clicks and whistles, like the classic - "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Bottlenose Dolphin."

It's not clear whether any dolphins use this occasion to trash the former rival bull of a recently deceased elephant. I doubt that. I'm guessing actual dolphins in the oceans probably keep it classy.

Crows also perform funeral rituals, diving and swooping and emitting calls that summon other birds. Researchers still have no idea whether an old, sick crow can foresee it's own impending death - and if so, plans it's own funeral as an opportunity to settle scores by not inviting any individuals in the flock it's diseased mind considers "wacko birds." If the dying crow was really sick and twisted, it might even not invite a loyal Alaskan magpie to dive and swoop at his rotting corpse just out of spite and to throw darts from beyond the grave.

Nah. Birds wouldn't harbor that degree of rancor and bitterness.

So do, in fact, animals actually mourn, or like human RINOS and democrats - do they simply fling their poo?


  1. Read a story recently about a Mother whale that kept a still born calf with her for several days. The animals are a lot classier than a lot of people. Animals only kill to eat. Well, monkeys can be like democrats screaming and throwing poo but I think that's about it.

    It has occurred to me that if a family member dies the last thing I want is a bunch of strangers showing up and having it televised. What a whorish thing to do, then turn it into political pimp paradise. Geeez.

  2. Kid!~ "Geeez"? Do I hear my NAME? Ha!

    This is SUCH a great post...and it fits SO WELL..........I think animals are a lot classier, too. The very thought of my having to cry and kiss my dear husband's coffin in front of people all around me and with millions watching on TV is almost too much......I suppose they're more used to the public eye, but one starts to wonder about it...

    I found Meghan McCain hideously mean and nasty....SHUT UP, it's your father's FUNERAL, be a class act, even if he wasn't always. ( I can't put anybody down too much who spent 3 years in solitary confinement and was beaten SO badly, but I sure wasn't a fan).....

  3. Meghan McCain reminds me of the story of little Red Riding Hood...She invites the wolf (Rod Rosenstein) to the party, and deliberately places him a few rows back from the Trump kiddies.. Don't think you will find this in the animal kingdom where another specie is invited in to stalk, waiting for the kill.

  4. I shared this to a few venues to acclaim.
    Great analogy.
    The Blade is Back!

  5. Kid, I did read that about the whale carrying her dead loved one for days. At least MEG isn't doing that! As for televised funerals, mine will be broadcast closed circuit with a confiscatory subscription fee.

    Z, I agree that is very weird. I actually didn't watch it (nor Aretha's). btw, thanks for the promo! Glad you liked.

    Bunkerville - I hadn't heard that he was even there, but I did read about the kids there. Must have been tough sitting there listening that that crap, eh?

    Ed - Thanks for sharing my Michigan brutha. The Blade is back indeed!

  6. I picked a great time to vacation. I hardly touched my laptop or cell phone during this past week. When I wasn't reading poolside, I was watching reruns of Law & Order and no news. It was a very nice break.

    I think MEG should thank me for so fortuitously choosing my vacation when I did because she wouldn't have been happy with my comments about her actions at her father's funeral. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt this time... I mean, her aides are to blame for not giving her a Snickers before the eulogy.

  7. A Vacation... I want I want I want!!!