Wednesday, July 15, 2009

FLASH: Obama's Teleprompter OD'd on Eloquence

Toxicology results from the teleprompter autopsy are back, and indications are that TOTUS was abusing Eloquence, a more potent derivative of the hallucinogenic drug, Ecstasy. Plug marks were reportedly found up and down TOTUS' cord. Speculation is that TOTUS was under a lot of pressure and stress over Obama's upcoming schedule of speeches.

A public memorial ceremony for TOTUS is scheduled for Friday at The Staples Center.


  1. Poor TOTUS. It couldn't handle the lies either. The next generation of TOTUSI will be better equipped.

  2. oh, noooooooooooooo! STAPLES CENTER? That means Los Angeles is paying AGAIN!! ggrrrr

    "COME ONE, COME ALL! Let ANY celeb you Americans adore die and have the funeral HERE, WE don't mind$$$ We've got PLENTY of $$ to spare!"
    Man, if TOTUS really DID die, we know who'd be mourning the MOST! 'Mr WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT IT?Obama'!

  3. That's the thing about start out with just a thing you know, you'd sell out your country for fix.