Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Obama Rescued with Makeshift Cuban Flotilla

Said to have fled Cuba early due to the absence of a good Waygu Rib Eye and a quality golf course.

CHATTERING TEETH NEWS - The Coast Guard Rescued President Obama and the First Family just off the coast of Miami, Florida, after having traveled 90 miles from Cuba and accompanied by several dozens of Cuban refugees fleeing in rickety boats and homemade vessels built from old car parts and inner tubes.

According to the Coast Guard Captain of the rescuing craft, the USCG Boaty McBoatface, the president was pulled from his rubber ducky pool float wearing a Che T and chewing on a shaved ice snow cone. When questioned about the health of the president, Captain McPoopy Pants said Obama appeared extremely gaunt and drawn, which for him means he appeared to actually have gained a few pounds during his Cuban vacation.

And what a vacation it was, spent with the Cuban tyrant and bashing America's shortcomings:
Obama accepted the standard communist rationale for totalitarianism, that it brings “security” in the form of health care and education. The former is necessary to keep the subjects alive and serving the state, the latter to teach them to obey communism.

...He went on eventually to compare ISIS to the Christian crusaders.

Captain McPoopy Pants stated that the obama's would likely still be floating in the Atlantic had the rescue helicopter not spotted a huge Mooshell sunning herself on an inflatable barge.


  1. Dablade - Is Al Gore God? If Al Gore invented the internet and the Pope said that the internet is a gift from God, then I must ask you Dablade...Is Al Gore God?

    303 days until


  2. I'm surprised you'd be so complimentary to obama and family. I' feeling verklempt Maybe even worse. Is there a word for worse then verklempt? I'm going to go watch Team America: World Police (unrated) again and see if I can figger this out. Hike a Dirka Dirka, A Bak a A Sherpa Sherpa, Dirka Dirka Mohammed Jihad.....

  3. dr h, Algore is not God, but all things come from Him. Except El Diablobama. We know where he comes from. As for the countdown clock, it's been 363 days since I've looked. You know what they say... a watched pot never boils... and a festering a$$ boil never pops while u watch it.

    Kid, well that certainly is never my intent. I shall try harder, but he does such a good job humiliating himself that the bar is already so high. Hirka dirka, indeed.

  4. PS - Damn sharks are sleeping on the job !