Sunday, April 10, 2016

Mr Stump stump speech at Woodstock - #NeverStump

Mr. Stump sits down with Chattering Teeth News reporter Gullible Gabe (he only looks like CNN's Anderson Cooper from this angle) for a quick chat.

CTN: Mr. Stump, please tell our audience just what is the platform you're running on?

MR STUMP: My platform? I would say my platform is a nice piece of polished Ash. That I will tell you.

CTN: Many critics say you are just a democrat plant to assure your friend Hillary attains the executive branch. Mr Stump, are you a plant and don't you want this branch?

MR STUMP: "Plant" and "branch"? I see what you did there. So that is the low-brow road we're taking with this interview? Cheap and stupid puns? Yew are acorny person, Okay? Don't axe me that, Believe me.

CTN: Polls show you hold the lead with the poorly educated, with the "dumb as a stumps" and the "bump on a logs" supporting you, but the Sanders campaign seems to have the "Thick as bricks" niche.  However, most see your ground roots eroding.

MR STUMP: That's it! I am making like a tree and leafing, Okay?


  1. Fun blog post, Jerry! As usual.
    I wonder if this man's hideous huge ego could even allow him to be a shill for Hillary?
    probably, with all the adulation he's received. the jerk!

  2. Shill for Hill?
    He wooden do that wood he?

  3. Kid, I watched the entire clip to see what an eggplant had to do with anything. Now I need to watch the whole picture cuz I can't fuhgetaboutit! Love those wise guys.

    Z, I don't know if I believe he is a purposeful shill or just a useful idiot shill. The result would be the same either way. We can't win with him. And we wouldn't be happy if we did.

    Ed, HAHA! I'm whittling you a trophy for playing. Like I told you over at your place, looking at that first picture - that dude really needs to have that crack in his head checked out... the author, not the stump :)

  4. I haven't seen it yet either, but I gotta find out what happens to Clarence !