Sunday, April 2, 2017

Sunday Funny

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. (source unknown)

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their ‘tourist’ garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a ‘drop dead gorgeous’ blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them..They couldn’t help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said ‘Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,’ nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, and said ‘Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,’ and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said, ‘Just a minute, young lady.’ ‘Yes, Father?’
‘We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?’
She replied, 'Father, it’s me, — Sister Kathleen. ‘

I saw this on Facebook today and had to laugh. It brought back a memory from about 15 years ago. Fellas from the office would rotate hosting poker nights about once per month.  One time when it was my friend Mark's turn, he stopped by my office the day of the card game to tell me that he had invited a mutual friend to the game. This was not that unusual, as our co-workers would sometimes have buddies show up for the game who did not work for the newspaper. 

What made this a little different was the fact that Mark had invited our Catholic priest to the game, and he told me that "Fr X" wanted to be incognito and called by a fake first name. His reasoning was that he just wanted to play cards and be a regular fella for one night, and didn't want the other guys uncomfortable. 

Since Mark and I were the only ones at the game who knew the guest was our local pastor, we were the only ones uncomfortable. I never realized just how blue and cringe-worthy some of the boy's stories would get after a few adult beverages. Of course, "Tony" took it in stride, and even cracked a smile a few times while sharing conspiratorial glances with us. 

When told about this at a later date, some of the guys remembered wondering what was wrong with Jerry and why he acted so prudish all of the sudden.  After that,  none of the fellas went to any more card games 'topless' (as far as I know)...


  1. HA! Good one. I like the short but sweet ones...

    Two nuns walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

  2. LOL !

    Here's one back at ya.

    Coupla guys walking down the beach behind a couple older ladies. As they walked along the four of them came upon a man who was apparently naked but who had buried himself into the sand. Well, he fell asleep and was apparently having one of those 'special' dreams because part of him had 'sprouted' form the sand.

    One of the ladies was heard to say, You know when I was 16 all I could do was run away from those things and when I was 35 I could never find enough of them, but now that I'm 72 and have no use for them, they are growing on the beach.

  3. Well, some SUNDAY funnies! :-) But, seriously, folks...all good! I almost didn't get Cube's...WHAT THE HECK'S THE MATTER WITH ME LATELY!?
    When I THINK of the truly FILTHY jokes I told in the architectural/engineering/design department at the corporation I worked for, I absolutely CRINGE....disgusting. I found them so funny then, and they WERE, but a girl in her mid-twenties to be telling them? mea culpa, mea culpa :-)

  4. Z, We need to hear some of these jokes !

  5. cube, was it the nun's 'habit' to run into those bars? Ouch! Sorry :)

    Kid, Ha! Very nice! Now I'll be more careful where I throw my blanket.

    And Z, I'm with Kid... At least get them started and the rest of us can chirp in with the punchlines :)

  6. Z: They can't possibly be dirtier than the ones circulating the medical building and hospital where I worked.

  7. Here is another one

    A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.

    After controlling the car, he stealthfully slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"

    The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

    Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again Said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."

    Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance, and went on her way.

    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity!

    -cut and paste.

  8. OK since we're on a roll, I'll play...

    Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.” St. Peter lets him enter.

    The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives.” St. Peter tells him to go ahead.

    The last man says, “I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care.”

    St. Peter replies, “You may enter. But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell.”

  9. O-MY! I really shouldn't peak in while at work cuz it's obvious to the office I couldn't possibly find THAT much humor in reviewing an appraisal or a purchase agreement :) (maybe a credit report... you should SEE some of the school debt these kids rack up).
    Thanks for the belly laughs Kid and cube (hey, are you two a rap combo?)

  10. MrBl;ade, I WISH Cube and I were a combo, but every time I get near her she just repeatedly whomps me on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. NY Times at that !