|In a series of illustrations, the Google doodle tells the story of a sleeping fox that has a nightmare about the consequences of climate change, featuring melted icebergs and dead plants. Disturbed, the fox enlists two friends to be more thoughtful about conservation—the trio eat vegetables, grow plants, ride bikes and use solar energy.|
There. I fixed it...
Once upon a time, there was a Google Earth Day Fox. Like most young libtards, he was nocturnal - meaning he slept all day in his parent's tree stump instead of holding down a job, and was "active" at night (going clubbin' and carousin'). While he slept, he dreamed of Mother Earth in all her natural abundance.
BUT SUDDENLY... His dreams turned into a nightmare, as a penguin lost its balance on a melting iceberg or something... and the poor, ignorant Earth Day penguin plunged into the icy waters to certain death!... ?
The Google Earth Day Fox was STARTLED AWAKE with a crazed look in his eyes, with a certainty that the Earth was in it's final death throes due to EVIL CAPITALISM, and the only prescription was massive wealth redistribution or something. He knew this because men of unimpeachable scientific knowledge, like Bill Nye the science guy and Algore had said so! And Neil deGrasse Tyson is an actual astrofizz-a-thingy, so he prolly knows ALL about weather stuff and isn't just an educated idiot political hack!
Then the Google Earth Day Fox's parents became concerned with his nonsensical Earth Day drivel, and rushed him to the ER for treatment. What he really needed was a "liberal" dose of psychotropic and antipsychotic medications to help him cope with his irrational anxieties.
"Schizophrenia and mania are just 2 legs of the 3-legged liberal progressive climate change stool," said Mr. Fox to his frothing and indoctrinated son.
but then the Google Earth Day Fox chased an imaginary butterfly off the hospital roof.
Climate Change is causing all these close asteroid flyby's too. A CNN anchor said so a year or so ago. Climate change also causes STD's, AIDS, Homelessness, Homophobia, Xenophobia, AllDaFrigginPhobias, Bigotry, Racism, Low minimum wages, Rich People, Poor people, Expensive Health Insurance, people who can't get healthcare, Cats with no health insurance (what's up widdat?) Homeless dogs, trees dying in the forest, bees without flowers, women without mates, mates without women, sex robots, Mars deniers, solar flares, Angry dictatortots, moslem unemployment, foot funguses, condoms that are way too expensive, gender wars, border walls, capitalist pigs, sexual harassment, lack or sexual harassment, poor fitting shoes, and bad reality TV.ReplyDelete
Kid, did you mean for your list to be so woefully incomplete? Best one I've seen so far though.ReplyDelete
I had to stop and go to the bathroom.ReplyDelete
Kid: Ask your doctor if Global Climate Change is right for you.ReplyDelete
Ed, I did. All she said was I was healthy enough for sex. Whatever that means.ReplyDelete
Kid and Ed, when you hear the term 'climate change', just turn your head and cough.ReplyDelete
Byw, this blog has achieved a certain state for more than four hours. Now what should I do?
Mr Blade! Call the Docta !ReplyDelete
Today, I turned on many lights, did not plant a single tree, I ate non-locally sourced food only and drove around for no reason at all. Happy Earth Day!ReplyDelete
Did somebody call the docta? You put the lime in the coconut and call me in the morning.ReplyDelete
cube, renegades are us!ReplyDelete
Hey doc, how 'bout this one?: A scientist tells a pharmacist, “Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid.”
“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. “That’s it!” he says. “I can never remember the name.”
That's a good one. I immediately thought of Columbo with the head-slap thingy.ReplyDelete