Saturday, April 1, 2017

April the Giraffe Gives Birth to Unwanted Tissue Mass?

Uh oh. We have an unexpected development...
Millions of people around the world have following the live stream cam of this pregnant giraffe in a much anticipated birth of her calf. We know it was a calf, because like Beyoncé, April has grunted her ascent that she wanted this baby.

Now we now that April wasn't really carrying a baby, since she called in Planned Pridehood and said she didn't want a baby after all, as it would cramp her lifestyle of wandering around in her small one bedroom condo pen. I don't want to "stick my neck out," but isn't it a little late for that?

APRIL: April fools!! Of course my baby is real, and it's spectacular! What? Did you think I was some kind of monster?
I'm no democrat!


  1. I thought you were pulling my leg because I recently saw April wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat and it wasn't photoshopped. Of course, merely being a Trump supporter doesn't necessarily mean she's pro-life. So I went and checked her site... she hasn't given birth to her baby lion, I mean giraffe yet :P

  2. Oh, dang you had me there for a minute, I thought something happened to that little beauty. Merrow.

  3. cube (or should I say...'hillery'?) Thanks for the update - i shouldn't read anymore fake news. especially on April Fool's Day.

    Kid... gotcha! I just hope this ends with the little fella being name Harambe. A certain circle of life thing in that gesture.