Thursday, January 2, 2014

Chattering Teeth Blog's Resolutions for 2014

>> I will make every effort to post on a more regular basis, even when on temporary asylum in a Russia airport.

>> This blog will persevere to obtain the rest of the story through investigative reporting (googling) and keeping an inexpensive hooker on retainer.

>> Iwill make evry efort to proofr-ead at least 10% of my bloogs 6efore posting.

>> I promise the continued arrangement of words in such a way as to project flowery rhetorical flourish and self-defecating humor (without the aid of a teleprompter... or diapers).

>> DaBlade will continue to wear lederhosen while executing this blog until (A) Everyone reads his scribblings daily, or (2) Lederhosen becomes mainstream business-casual attire.

>> This blog will never embed audio of the Challenger disaster in a heartless attempt to entertain tasteless  progressives, nor will DaBlade stick out his tongue and twerk with his giant foam finger (at least while posting  his daily rant)

>> This blog will continue to support the blobfish and may even adopt it as the official blog mascot. Why? The blobfish and my blogposts are both (1) ugly at first blush, but tend to grow on you; (2) inedible (C) Gelatinous blobs suffering significant threats from fishing trawlers and progressive trollers.

Happy New Year!

3 comments:

Jess said...

The lederhosen is a good idea, as long as you have a drop flap...and a bucket....it saves time and cuts down on interruptions.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Is this an attempt to decrease readership?

DaBlade said...

Jess, drop flap WITH velcro. I might need to take that idea to the Shark Tank.

Ed, well if it is, it didn't work cuz you're both still here :). you don't like my picture of Hillary?