Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Obama's 2014 SOTU Speech, Media Suites and Spa

I watched the SOTU speech livestream on my computer for the first time ever. My speakers were broken, but thankfully the Fake Sign Language Guy helped me get the gist of it. Did I lose anything in translation?
I did think the entrance was a little bizarre this year..
If you didn't watch this, you didn't miss much. Obama spent the first 10 or 15 minutes blaming Republicans for the shutdown and basically creating the entire mess we're in. The rest of the speech was dedicated to Obama's "I've got a Pen" extra-constitutional threats.

Ironically, all pens had been collected from the pocket protectors and purses of all those attending prior to Obama's Selfie entrance for fear that folks would feel the urge to stab themselves in their own eye at some point during this address.

I normally give the dad rebuttal directly to the TV in very colorful language, like the gentleman featured in this linked Onion piece, but I was able to vent via social media immediately, so my top didn't blow like a roof filled with flatulating cows.

Some of my remarks I tagged here and there as they popped into my head. It was very therapeutic.
(prior to Obama's grand entrance, we were treated to 15 minutes of politicians milling about, joking and laughing)
twerking with the dancing bears pre-show.

John Boehner has time for a smoke apparently.

son of a bar keep and son of a bar fly.

Someone suggested BINGO
I think I already have a cover all!

Someone says: Thank goodness the word “Reform” was left off the Drinking Game list.
still makes me thirsty though when he says it

Do I miss that fake sign language guy from the Mandela funeral about right now.

Speaking of nest eggs, I haven’t witnessed this many obama egg-laying air balls since his 2 for 22 shootaround during the White House Easter Egg Roll.

Someone responds to the stage prop: She was the ONLY Person that got coverage.
She is the only one successfully logged into healthcare dot gov

Obama moves on to foreign policy -
Stop those disgusting videos causing those spontaneous demonstrations!

Someone asks: Where’s the gay basketball player? 
Hey! Where’s Barney Frank? Hmmm

and that's all I got to say about that.


  1. I was going to watch, but I needed to clip my toenails.

  2. Jess - understood. good hygiene is very important. For example, I did watch the SOTU in its entirety. Then I had to bathe and scrub off my own vomit.

  3. I didn't watch the SOTU, but then again I change the channel whenever president jug ears comes on TV.