The first 100 days
The President takes a break from his tireless efforts in further destroying the U.S. economy and culture with a little golf, followed by a little airborne joy ride.
PICTURED: Air Force One, pursued by F-16 fighter jets, performed low flying slaloms between NYC skyscrapers causing mass panic in the streets. Reports suggest that Obama was in Washington at the time, but witnesses report seeing the president through the cockpit window with his arms raised and a silly grin on his face, like he was riding on a roller coaster.
GIBBS: The president apologizes for the confusion that this photo op caused. It never occurred to him that a low flying jumbo jet darting between buildings would appear to be a terrorist attack... err... I mean a man made disaster attack... thingy. The president promises this will not happen again... unless you're a cow.
Obama finds alternative to buzzing New York City.
Let's join president Obama's press conference already in progress:
OBAMA: I aaaam closely monitoring the swine flu outbreaks between golf shots by checking the swine flu Google tracking map loaded onto my Blackberry. I want to assure the American public - thaaaat at least until Susan Boyle accepts the postion, we don't have a secretary of Health and Human Services during this “public health emergency”, but I still have my Teleprompter. Aaaaand [pause] thaaaat... hold on, hold on [pause] sorry, the – I just noticed I jumped the gun here. [looks at the prompter] Go ahead. Move it up. Have I already introduced all you guys?
Now for the news that Obama voters REALLY care about:
The National Enquirer reports that American Idol competitors and roommates Adam and Kris are feuding! "Adam is gay and a very flamboyant guy from L.A., while Kris is a conservative married man from a small Arkansas town.”
HORRORS! If this report can be believed, Adam and Kris are actually going long periods WITHOUT SPEAKING TO ONE ANOTHER! *sob* *sniffle* Tell me this isn't true! Mister President!??? Help us!!!
OBAMA: I am closely monitoring the emerging feud between Adam and Kris, and this is obviously a cause for concern and requires a heightened state of alert to all of my supporters. But it's not a cause for alarm. I'm getting regular updates on the situation from the American Idol staff, as well as from Simon Cowell himself. Please excuse me now as I have the tee.
Obama voters give the president high marks in his first 100 days, despite his abject failure to actually improve anything he touches. Banks continue to struggle, the future of the auto industry is questionable at best, and unemployment continues to skyrocket. Obama's apology tour and his weak-kneed dealings with foreign crackpot leaders has seriously jeopardized national security. We are circling the drain and our president is talking to his teleprompter. Other than all that, Adam is the front runner!