Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Of Al-Qeada Terrorists, The Terrorized (Detroit Lion's Fans) and Flaming Jock Straps

With Detroit Lion's rookie quarterback Matthew Stafford out with a shoulder injury, and the play of backups Drew Stanton and Daunte Culpepper have - shall we say - been "ineffective"... Coach Schwartz is looking for someone, ANYONE, who can give him solid play at the QB position when the Bears come for a visit this Sunday. Of course, it's tough to play from your back all day because the Offensive Lineman must suffer from severe ADD. They seem to step aside for the rush like a matador sidesteps a charging bull.

But then I had a brilliant thought. Why not name "wannabe terrorist" Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab as this week's starter for the Detroit Lions? It would solve Coach Schwartz' dilema (at least for this week). The Lion's attendance would skyrocket for once, and the TV blackout lifted as Ford Field would be filled to capacity with the local Muslim community. The Lions could learn from Umar how to set their own jock straps on fire before each play to increase the odds of gaining a few yards... and lastly, what better punishment for Umar than to make him wear the Lions uniform?

Nah! I'm all for extreme punishment, but this seems cruel and unusual to me.


  1. Allah Akhbar..... Brilliant !!

  2. On the other hand, it may be good to put a little fire in the jockstraps of the Lions.

  3. I really like this idea. Along the lines of the original gladiators. I think we should build on it...how about a Gitmo Football League?

  4. WHT- Happy New Year to you!

    anon- Are you sure you didn't mean to say "belligerent "? Thanks, in either case.

    Chuck- nothing could hurt the lions. The Red Wings and Tigers are all I still watch anymore. After Billups was released, I don't even watch the Pistons and I never used to miss a game....

    RK_ I like!

  5. Flaming Jock Straps? Don't sell them but we do these Jock Straps