Drew Peterson introduces his "new standup comedy act" via collect call to a radio show. He suggests they hold a "Win a Conjugal Visit with Drew" contest.
Hey girls, he is only accused of murdering wives number three and four, so your odds aren't impossible. Just laugh at his jokes and everything will be OK.
I'd be wary of "open Mike" night at the cell block if it were me. Just sayin'...
"I got a lot of buddies willing to wash my back in the shower, what's that all about?" Ba dum bum *rimshot*
"The food's different. Now I know why there are seatbelts on the toilets." Ba dum bum *rimshot*
"To be falsely accused of a homicide that didn't happen - twice now (chuckly chuckle)"... Ba dum bum *rimshot*
"I really miss my grooming aids like being able to trim my mustache and nose hairs, but then I don't want to be particularly attractive in this place so..." *crickets*
Thank you! I'll be here all week. Actually, I'll be here for the rest of my pathetic life! Tip your waitress, who happens to be Andy Defresne in drag tonight. Try the veal. Get busy livin' or get busy dying. YOu've been a great audience goodnight everybody.
Actually ladies, having to laugh at this guy greatly diminishes your odds.
Laughing hysterically at a very unfunny person. Kinda reminds me of the treatment White House press secretary Robert Gibbs receives from his adoring leftwing reporter hacks at the briefings. He is the flesh and blood equivalent of Obama's teleprompter, so why wouldn't they love him? BTW, Isn't his "Gimmee the phone" bit a Chris Rock routine?
Just like Peterson, I'm sure he could get any number of them to wash his back after the breifing. Or should I say "DEbriefing".
Here is today's understatement of the day...
"It's possible that reporters just think Gibbs is much funnier than the Bush people," Graham (for Media Research Center) said. "But I think this is another subliminal sign that reporters are much more comfortable with a spokesman that represents the hope and change they voted for."
For my entertainment dollar, I'd sit through a Drew Peterson standup while being waterboarded before I'd listen to this guy.
* When I first saw the picture of the black female reporter being dragged away by POTUS POSSEE from Air Force One on Drudge, I immediately assumed it was Oprah. "Michelle has finally had enough of that Winfrey groupie," I thought. (actually, I just wanted to say "POTUS POSSEE".) POTUS POSSEE, POTUS POSSEE, POTUS POSSEE. After all, the "Fresh Prince" needs to have his peeps looking out dontcha know.