Monday, August 20, 2012

Curiosity Zaps First Martian Rock with Laser (while this act of aggression is met with silence by the so-called United Federation of Planets!)


August 19, 2012:  NASA's Mars rover Curiosity has fired its laser for the first time on Mars. On Aug. 19th the mission's ChemCam instrument hit a fist-sized rock named "Coronation" with 30 pulses of its laser during a 10-second period. Each pulse delivers more than a million watts of power for about five one-billionths of a second.

Mission control erupted into a chaos of pocket protector to pocket protector hugs and high fives. The rest of the article talks about creating puffs of smoke for analysis. After many years of ChemCam development, not to mention $Millions of tax dollars in chips and assorted munchies during project Rover Reefer) it was time to get mellow.

NASA Mohawk guy: "Wow maaaaan, don't bogart the ionized, glowing plasma!"

While the article doesn't specifically mention Obama, I will naturally assume he has made another "gutsy call" in leading this mission that brought that rock to justice (unless I hear differently from Democrat Senator Jeanne Shaheen).  I'm sure the president insisted on live updates to his Blackberry, hoping for any distraction during his campaign stop and bi-annual visit to church.

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney promised Ohio coal workers that he would do everything in his power to ensure them "good jobs and good wages." An anonymous source told this reporter that Obama will pull the plug on the Mars mission and bankrupt NASA immediately if Curiosity discovers coal on the red planet.

Lastly, it has not escaped the American people Mister Romney, that we still don't know your color preferences or desired super power. Obama has fully disclosed this key information while your campaign remains silent sir!

Stoned NASA scientists practice with the Mars rover?

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