Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Former Homeless Man with the Golden voice Announced as GOP Mystery Speaker!

OK, as far as I know, my blog headline is a complete fabrication. But who knows? Ted Williams is certainly a "from rags  to riches" story... He himself went from a crack head into a successful businessman (Obama to Romney transformation)... He could speak to the millions of unemployed Americans and give them hope with his "What a difference a year makes” story.

You Know you love it!

CONVENTION UPDATE

Wow! Ann Romney was great. All the speakers delivered. Fantastic kickoff to the convention. That's all I have time for this morning, as I have to pack a bag, don a disguise, hop the back fence and take a clandestine flight. I'll tell ya about all that later.

Who Is GOP’s Mystery Speaker Thursday night in prime time who is listed as “to be announced”?


Whenever I go to an event, I always take a look at the lineup and make my plans accordingly. I'm not there in Tampa, but if I was, I'd schedule my bathroom break during the Bebe Winans Choir thingy. No offense to Bebe, or his/her? choir. I'm sure they sing lovely. It's just that there is a lot of buzz and buildup on the identity of this mystery speaker slot and I surely would not want to miss that. Hopefully there will be speakers in the bathroom piping in Bebe and company's melodies for those like-minded folks answering nature's call.

Remember, the Romney campaign was able to keep the VP selection secret by having Paul Ryan sneak out through his backyard wearing a cheesehead or something - So I'm sure they can keep my identity uhhhhh ummm... I mean the mystery speaker's identity a secret.

Popular guesses in the blogosphere include rocker Ted Nugent, CIA Director David Petraeus, the Doctor of Democracy himself - Mr. Rush Limbaugh, Joe Lieberman and Colin Powell.

Also popular choices are 82-year old actor Clint Eastwood and one hundred twenty something Nancy Reagan. I love them both, but they would not wow the younger folk.

I don't think the mystery guest will be Pope Benedict or Kid Rock, nor will it be Helen Thomas or Michael Moore (Though I would be fine with all of those selections. The last two would be examples of "let them talk" to expose their folly). If that was the goal, just put Joe Biden "back in chains and anchor him to the podium, tell him he's at a Obama fundraiser in West Virginia and get out of the way of his unleashed pie hole.

If I was planning this, I'd want a little comedy thrown in. We have to laugh, right? I might have Punxsutawney Phil ride out strapped to the back of a jackass (the official democrat mascot). The groundhog would play the part of Joe Biden (no stretch for any rodent) and donkey would be obama of course. They could stand on stage while actual obama/biden soundbites were played over the convention speakers. Then Ann Romney's Thoroughbred Rafalka would chase them off stage. Like it?

Well, my fake mustache is dried and I have a plane to catch. Stay tuned!


7 comments:

cube said...

After so much fanfare, the mystery speaker is going to feel like a disappointment. I hope whomever it is, he/she better hit it out of the park.

DaBlade said...

I know I'll love whoever it is. I thought Santorum was fantastic too. I know what you mean tough. Too much hype.

rosey said...

Great way to mess with the Libs and keep them off-guard. They will not have time to smear, besmirch, fabricate falsehoods or any other tactic. The MSM will pull their hair out trying to get ready to blast away at an unknown entity.

Anonymous said...

I WISH it was you speaking tonight with Mitt!!
VERy funny post, DB!

(from Z at her work computer!)

Always On Watch said...

As you're probably heard by now, Clint Eastwood is supposed to be the mystery speaker.

Yeehaw!

DaBlade said...

Rosey, what an avalanche of negativity from the Hollywood left toward kindly old Mr Eastwood. They didnt waste time catching up on their smears did they?

AOW, I loved him! He must have been effective judging by obama reacting to it :)

rosey said...

He was the most effective and forcefully direct speaker at the convention. The RNC made sure that their middle ground, don't affend and try to be "big tent" strategy of this convention has told me we tea party folks have alot more work to do to reclaim the Republican party. It starts with Ryan.

But, on a lighter note, Dirty Harry speaking to an empty chair with a teleprompter in front was sooooo funny and very symbolic of the substance behind the POTUS teleprompter currently. Hah, he made my day.

Hollywood can continue it's slide into obscurity or start making movies that Americans crave instead of the crap pushing subtle and overt socialist dogma for themes. The Hollywood elites have lost their inner muse long ago.