Monday, August 13, 2012

My talk with Gullible Gabe (Part I)

Meet my friend and neighbor, Gullible Gabe. Gabe doesn't follow politics too much, but says he stays informed with the little blurbs he picks up from the networks when he tunes in to catch the weather. He also touts Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, and Rachel Maddow as his trusted news sources. I thought it would be interesting to get his perspective on Romney's selection of Paul Ryan as his running mate. Here is a partial transcript of our over-the-fence conversation. (Part I)

* The mutual exchange of "Howdy neighbor" and comments on each others lawns not included. Maybe I'll break those down on the next slow news day. In the meantime, we pick up the conversation already in progress...

Me: So what do you think of Mitt picking Paul Ryan?

Gullible Gabe: Haha! You said "Mitt picking". YOU KIDS! STAY OFF MY MITT PICKING LAWN! *swigs beer*

Me: Good one. I see what you did there. Does that mean you've never heard of the guy?

Gullible Gabe: Oh no, I've heard of him... just gimmee a sec pal. Two first names. Hmmm. Is he that really heavy mayor from over there in Jersey Shore?

Me: No, you're thinking of New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie. Paul Ryan is from Wisconsin.

Gullible Gabe: OH NOW I KNOW THE DUDE! He's the guy who threw an old lady off a cliff somewhere. I'm sorry, but I'll be voting for Obama this year. First, there was Mitt killing the wife of one of his employees a few years back with some kinda cancer death ray, and now Ryan knocking off old ladies. I can't in good conscience vote for two homicidal maniacs.

Me: Gabe, the only person left defending that disgusting Romney ad is DNC Chair, Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  As for Ryan, you're thinking of that liberal propaganda Mediscare hit piece ad that shows an actor playing Paul Ryan pushing some old lady in her wheelchair, then dumping her over a cliff. It's supposed to scare old people and symbolize what will happen if they vote for the Republicans.

Like everything else the democrats pump out, it's a load of crap. Total and complete fabrication and lies. In fact, it's OBAMA'S plan that guts the Medicare budget to the tune of $700 Billion. The Romney/Ryan plan will not even affect anyone over the age of 55, and reforms the program to SAVE it for those younger. I'm surprised you fall for all of this Gabe.

Gullible Gabe: I have no idea what you're talking about. All I know is what I saw on the internet. I SAW Ryan pushing that innocent old lady over a cliff.

I wasn't getting anywhere with Gabe. I decided to take another tact. Like most of his ilk, facts don't matter, especially when they interfere with his twisted and corrupt world view. At the same time, Gabe is an otherwise decent dude who works hard and takes care of his family. I just might be able to save him, but to do so will take drastic measures on my part. I will have to enter his world and don the cloak of the seedy underbelly of disinformation he consumes and use it to my advantage.

Stay tuned for the conclusion of "my talk with Gullible Gabe" on this blog tomorrow. Just stare at the screen and hit refresh every 5 minutes and I'll make it worth your while. Then again, if you're reading this in the future, well after part II has been posted - then my response will actually be ABOVE this entry on my blog feed. I know. The internets can be a wonderful but scary thing.


  1. I'm hitting refresh, where's Part 2??? OK, another 5 minutes and still nothing... I must be your other neighbor "Blithering Idiot Blogger"... You can call me BIB for short...

  2. Haha! Sorry to leave a cliffhanger folks. It's actually nice to have to stop blogging in the morning because I jave to get to work. Funny, but when I was unemployed I could never find the time (or the heart) to blog. It's a good problem to have again, as I'm loving life and gamefully employed. It appears I'm back to blogging semi-regularly again - which may be good news or bad news, depending upon your perspective. See ya tomorrow, and thanks!

  3. As usual this is funny DaBlade.

    The sad part is that the Gabes of the US are how we explain the Democratic Party.