Celebrate this Thanksgiving the way God intended, not with a sad and unpalatable Tofurky, but with a golden brown, hot and steaming Butterball baby! Complete with all the trimmings. Pass me one of them drumsticks. You can leave the tofu for the communists!
"Mommy? Where does food come from?"
This Christmas, why not give your future little conservative child this educational P.E.T. Farm, from Chattering Teeth Toys. That's right! Palin's Executing Turkeys Farm (P.E.T.) will give your "wanted tissue mass" hours and hours of fun, as they stuff the little plastic turkey into the head grinder, run by an uncanny replica of the really creepy looking mustached dude from the famous YouTube video that drove the liberals crazy! Your child will have so much fun, they won't even realize they are learning.
No junior, turkeys do not commit suicide and donate their carcasses to family dining tables around the world. They are raised on a farm and butchered for you and me to eat.
Sarah Palin hunting helicopter sold separately.