Monday, November 30, 2009

Random Golf Thoughts

* Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
* Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
* Still within the "14-club limit".

* If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
* No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
* You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
* The trouble with golf is that you are only as good as your last putt.
* Tree. A good drive spoiled.

* A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
* Hazards attract. Fairways repel.
* It's a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you're not choosy about which fairway.
* All the executives from my company play this course.

* The golf course is the only place I can take my wife where she can't talk constantly.
* TIGER: "Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot."
* COP: "How many times did you hit him with the 9-iron?"
ELIN: "I don't know. Five, six, seven... Put me down for a five."


  1. Nice.

    The thing that is not funny is the spoiled little celebrities like Tiger who cannot ever get enough. He has a great career, more money than either of us can count, a beautiful wife, and he needs more. It's arrogance.

  2. lets hope this doesnt have a horific outcome!

  3. chuck! What did he do? He's always tried to stay out of the public spotlight and who knows what happened to him? !!

    DB/CT...this is SO SO GOOD.
    You really need to get more people to see your's marvelous.

  4. Z, maybe I was being a bit harsh. My point is that there is considerable indication that he may have cheated on his wife. I take a very dim view of this. I actually like Tiger Woods and think that he seems like a good guy. What I meant was that cheating on his wife is essentially a cliche of celebrities. I view this as arrogance, they can have what they want because of who they are.

    Now of course this could all be false in which case I am an idiot.

  5. Chuck- I never would have mistaken Elin and Tiger for Kevin Federline and Britney Spears, but this story is delish! Not that I take any pleasure in others misery, but if Tiger pawed another, good for Elin for clubbing him.

    WHT- Indeed! Johnny Cochrane is not around.

    Z- It is so much fun when I get reactions like yours! That is why I was always getting into trouble in high school so many years ago.

  6. I don't care one whit was happens to this elite or the other. They use the media to enlarge themselves when it suits them, but then when they screw up (literally), they cry for privacy.

    Live by the sword, die by the sword. I shed no tears for this over-endulged cry-baby whiner or any other.