Sunday, February 8, 2009

Obama Smoking Stimulus Tea Leaves

An anagram for Obama's "STIMULUS PACKAGE"
What does that mean? I'll tell you. Most SAUSAGE is pork, and the term "pork" is also a political metaphor meaning "wasteful spending". The definition of CLUMP is "a group of things clustered together", while the definition of KIT is "a group of persons or things —usually used in the phrase the whole kit and caboodle."

So in conclusion, Obama's "Stimulus Package" is really just a Trillion dollar "spending and debt bill" consisting of nothing more than a bunch of wasteful, non-economy stimulating bribes and payoffs, pushed by a bunch of democrat socialist political hacks, and with the whole kit and caboodle stuffed in casings of prepared animal intestine.

"All the life's wisdom can be found in anagrams. Anagrams never lie."

The above, from, my favorite anagram generator. The folks at tell us that an anagram for "Clint Eastwood" is "Old West Action." The Outlaw Jose Wales is one of my all time favorite movies, proving the wisdom of this anagram.

A word of caution here for you amatuers out there. Anagrams can be dangerous in the wrong hands. I have spent the greater part of my adult life, if not a few spare minutes here and there, studying the art of anagrams. Reading the message BEHIND the anagram's output is similar to fortune telling, or reading tea leaves accurately. While everyone can see the tea leaves drying in the bottom of a soothsayer's cup, only a gifted few can accurately interpret their meaning.

That's where Barbie and I come in. Barbie, of course, is my long-time trusted assistant, without whom I could not channel the spirits of my fortune telling gypsy ancestors. This, as well as my supernaturally large memorized vocabulary of English words and definitions, makes me the self-described world renowned leader in anagram interpretation.

The trick in anagram reading is being able to separate the meaningful words and phrases from the... uhhh... not meaningful word thingys. Being able to separate the wheat from the... the stuff that's not the wheat. Not all of the output from an anagram generator can or even should be used in an accurate prophesy. Much of it is gobbledy gook readily identified by those with the gift. I hate to be "unmodest", but I have that gift of word... stuff.

Take, for example, the name "BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA". Plugging this into the generator will net 55,556 separate and distinct anagrams. An amatuer would easily get lost trying to sift through this output. However, my intuitive skills alert me that CABANA is a key word, due to the numerous repeats. This makes sense, as the word CABANA describes "a lightweight structure usually with an open side facing a beach or swimming pool." What better description of Obama than that of a "lightweight"? Would you want to sit in a cabana with a hurricane approaching? Do you feel comforted with our current lightweight president during this perfect storm of economic collapse?

Another identified keyword in the output of anagrams for "BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA" is CASABA, or winter melon. As everyone in Michigan knows, the term Melon head refers to a hydrocephalic child who has escaped from a mental institution and is now running this country. OK, I made that last part up, but who's to say? What else do we have? How about "A CAESARIAN BOMB HUSK". An obvious reference to his pro abortion child killing ways. There are also many "MARIHUANA hits", referencing Obama's childhood indescretions I'm sure.

More "STIMULUS PACKAGE" anagrams (with my translation):
SAGA CULTISM PUKE: Accurately describes his followers as a cult and my reaction to their blatherings.
A SIMULCAST KEG UP: Drink heavily if you plan on watching "stimulus package" debates on C-Span.
A SEASICK GUT LUMP: Hang over the rail and let it fly. Obama is trumping us on this.
MUSE GALA STICKUP: This Obamanation of a spending and debt bill is highway robbery that will end our gala, or "festive celebration" of free markets.
GALA SUCKS IMPUTE: Obama and his ilk believe free market capitalism "sucks" and imputes (to lay the responsibility or blame for - often falsely or unjustly) it for causing the current economic meltdown.
US A SKEPTICAL MUG: The rightwing blogoshere.

These two are interesting - ALGAE SICK SPUTUM and TAIGA MUCUS KELPS. Both anagrams have three words, with two of the words in each refering to the same thing. ALGAE and KELP are both seaweed, and SPUTUM and MUCUS are derivatives of snot. This leaves SICK from the first phrase, and TAIGA from the second. A Taiga is subarctic smattering of sickly looking trees on the edge of a tundra. Therefore, Obama's stimulus not only makes me sick, but will turn this once prosperous country into a desolate wasteland. Nice job Obama.

Anagrams for "STIMULUS PACKAGE" that may or may not be prophetic:

GETUP SALAMI SUCK: I wouldn't say that this anagram answer has anything to do with Barney Frank and his responsibility for the mess we are in.
MAGIC PUKES A SLUT: While I know Obama wants us to believe that this stimulus will perform economic "magic", I am still "reading the tea leaves" on this one and can't figure out why Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer keep flashing before my eyes.


  1. Great post! I had a difficult time getting through the whole thing because I kept laughing so hard.

  2. You're
    I like it, though.

  3. Wow.... No wonder you took Saturday off...
    Who'da thunk an anagram could net Barney Frank and sausage in the same sentence?

  4. take SALAMI out..I like it too much, and there ain't NUTHIN' I like about the spending package!

    Came over to tell you how much I LOVE POTATO CHIPS (saw your comment somewhere else..!?)...I mean..NEVER do I keep them in my house because I'd eat them ALL in one sitting.
    We have a gourmet cook friend, Brit from India, who cooks the most exotic wonderful foods and used to have great big buffet parties......she'd have all SORTS of wonderful stuff....ethnic, spicy, delicious, special.......BUT, her husband was a meat and potatoes guy so she'd have POTATO CHIPS there, too.
    As much as I LOVE great foods...he and I'd be standing near the potato chips gulping them down!!!

    Anyway, really glad I came by, anyway, because the anagram thing is!!

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. RK- Thank you sir!
    Linz-I don't mean to be a bragurt about my intalektuwal accueaty.
    Cartman- Actually, had a 6 hour round road trip for a hockey playoff game in Muskegon Saturday. The Flint 94's lost. Bummer.
    Z- A fellow potato chip fan! As you well know, they are not all created equal.
    Armegedon Arnie- I deleted you because you were scaring the children (not that you will even come back to see this). You are welcome to comment on the post, even to disagree with it, but not to cut and paste WAR AND PEACE length diatribe on end times.

  7. Brother, that's funny and all, but I'm supposed to be smart, and I can't spell to save my life...

  8. Linz- I find misspellings(?) and gramatical errors all through my posts after I pub them. Usually it's because I'm rushed to slam something down before having to rush off to work. Sometimes it's cuz I'm just "ignernt of the corect speling" :)

    Cube- I hate to admit I needed Barbie to help me decifer that one!