Sunday, October 14, 2012

Obama's grueling Debate Boot Camp

Obama is currently engaged in a Three-Day Debate Boot Camp in Williamsburg, Virginia, where he will be hunkered down preparing for his debate Tuesday with Gov. Mitt Romney.

What exactly is a Debate Boot Camp, and can Obama complete one pushup without cheating?

When I think of boot camps, I think of my favorite move drill sergeants. R Lee Ermey as Sgt Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, Warren Oates as Sgt. Hulka in Stripes and Louis Gosset Jr. as Sgt. Emil Foley in Officer and a Gentleman.

So is this what some of the behind-the-scenes looks like for Obama at his boot camp?

Empty Suit Jacket

SGT. HARTMAN: "Only Wildebeests and dog eaters come from Kenya private community organizer, and you don't much look like a Wildebeests to me so that kinda narrows it down."

Benghazi Bloody Stripes

SGT. HULKA: "Welcome to Debate Boot Camp. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mama (and the state-controlled press corp) is not here to take care of you now. In today's exercise, we're going to be talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it"

An Officer and a Socialist

SGT. FOLLEY: "Candidate Barryo's strutting in the dirt; Look at his face, he's starting to hurt; Here he is, thinking he's a great big star; But before too long he's gonna D.O.R.; Seen guys like you a hundred times; I'm telling you, Barryo, I'm one of a kind; Gonna give you more than you can take; I'm gonna watch you crumble and watch you break!"

OBAMA: "Don't you do it! Don't! You... I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to g... I got nothin' else"

Apparently, Obama's actual debate prep isn't so grueling.

From the Political Commentator, Barack Obama: Pictures from Debate Camp!

"Debate Camp" is being held at a luxury golf resort in Williamsburg, Virginia by the name Kingsmill.

Golf resort debate prep? No wonder Obama kept his head down for most of the entire first debate. He must have confused the debate coach advice with his personal golf coach who told him: "Keeping your head down is the first step towards guaranteeing a low score".

Obama also found golfing more difficult when he used his arrogant "scanning of the horizon with his nose and chin in the air" during his golf swing.

What's confusing is that some advice Obama receives from his debate coach and golf coach are virtually identical. For example, see if you can spot which coach this advice came from...

Learn to be indifferent about results. No matter what the results from (shot to shot/jobs and ambassador killing agenda), stick with the (swing thought/class warefare thought) that you know works. You have to be indifferent about shot results to think and play consistently.

Let your right hand go along for the ride. Take a relaxed grip... keep your right hand passive and let it just go along for the ride.

Use your wedge for virtually every chip, regardless of its length or the quality of the lie. Once you get to know the club's idiosyncrasies, you can learn to play all kinds of chips by adjusting your position, choking up or down, and opening or closing the face. Remember, your sand wedge is the most versatile weapon in your bag.

Let your lie tell you what to do. Pay more attention to your lie on short-game shots. Beautiful shots around the greens are usually due to the player having a decent lie (and a complicit media). If you have a poor lie (poor record), focus on hitting the ball hard enough (deflect and detract by attacking opponent) to carry whatever's in front of you and get it on the green.

So in conclusion, Obama is preparing for his upcoming debate on Tuesday with marathon tax-payer funded golf lessons, followed by sessions in the Hyperbaric Chamber.

1 comment:

  1. He should go through boot, the real boot. But luckily, he'll get the boot.