New from Chattering Teeth Media Products, the Liberal Spin Doctor!
Fellow mainstream media comrades, don't go into an interview with a Republican opponent again (or a presidential debate) without being armed with this bad boy. The Liberal Spin Doctor (LSD) is a cardboard wheel chart that fits in the palm of your hands and goes where your teleprompter can not! LSD is an interview aid for the intellectually challenged leftwing reporter.
"Hey announcer guy, what's a wheel chart? Some new iPhone App?"
No little occupy Johnny, not an iPhone thingy. The Liberal Spin Doctor consists of two layers of round cardboard "wheels" mounted together with a grommet through their centers, allowing them to spin independently. The front wheel has a window cut out to expose random snappy comebacks!
"Hey announcer guy, what the !%$# is a grommet? Some kinda gremlin you see when on LSD?"
No silly! Try to focus. Is the interview not going the way you want it to, with no "Gotchas"? Is the Republican interviewee giving you an impassioned and reasoned answer using those pesky fact thingys? Not getting a chance to get your talking points in?
"Well mister announcer guy, If I want to end my interview by trying to embarrass the Republican, how can I do that?"
Just give the wheel a spin! Let's watch it in action. It's obvious this reporter is using LSD!
If the Republican talks about energy independance, move the selector wheel to "GREEN"!
"And you can do all that... **SPIN** with dirty air and dirty water?"
It's all becoming clear to you now, ain't'it? Remember during a Republican candidate debate when moderator George Stephanopoulos bizarrely accused Romney of wanting to ban contraception?
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If you are a democrat, please refer to placards for a graphic demonstration on how to engage a seat belt. We know this advanced technology can be frightening at first, especially if you're no Thomas Einstein. Please seek the help of a conservative if you entangle yourself. Enjoy the ride!!!