Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Obamaphone Lady replaces Jim Lehrer as moderator for Presidential Debate

By now you've all seen the recently released video with the divisive, outrageous and race-baiting rhetoric made with an accent that is a cross between a faux minstrelesque and a post-modern ebonics ghetto. No, I don't mean Samuel L. Jackson's latest classy "Wake the F' Up" Obama commercial. Nor am I talking about the Obamaphone lady from Cleveland who wants to "Keep Obama in president, you know... (because) Romney, he sucks! Bad!" I'm referring to The Daily Caller video from 2007 of Obama doing his best Kanye West immitation. 

"What's happening down in New Orleans? Where's your dollar? Where's your Stafford Act money?" Makes no sense. Tells me the bullet hasn't been taken out. Tells me that somehow the people down in New Orleans they don't care about as much."  - Barack Hussein Obama

By the way, I found it odd that the above quote wasn't the easiest to find in it's entirety this morning. The quote was all over, but most of them had an ellipsis replacing "Tells me the bullet hasn't been taken out" portion. I have no idea what Obama meant by that line, nor what it means that news orgs are deleting that reference. Any ideas?

"I do!"

Chattering Teeth: Mrs. Clinton!? Everybody, please give a warm welcome to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to the Chattering Teeth Blog Studios. This is quite a surprise. So what's with taking out the bullet thingy from Obama's hate speech?

HILLARY: He didn't say "bullet", he clearly said "bullshit"... as in, "Tells me the bullshit hasn't been taken out". I believe he was complaining about Fox News still being on the air.

CT: With all due respect Mrs. Clinton, that's just plain silly. What about your thoughts on the video?

HILLARY: I think the video is disgusting and reprehensible. Let me be clear, the U.S. government had absolutely nothing to do with this video and absolutely rejects it content and message. Of course, we have a long tradition of free expression and we do not stop individual citizens from expressing their views, no matter how distasteful they may be.

CT: Wow. Pretty harsh criticism of the president and your boss, don'tcha think?

HILLARY: Wha? No! I ain't no ways tarrrred! I was talking about GEICO's latest "Two Tickets to Paradise" Commercial featuring Eddie Money.

HILLARY: As for the other, it's just a cynical attempt to actually vet our leader - and there is no justification, none at all, for The Daily Caller being allowed to release this unflattering video.


CT: Excuse me Hillary, but I need to get this. Hello, Chattering Teeth Blog Studios, CT speaking.

OBAMA: The future must not belong to those who slander me, your prophet... errr... I mean your president. I know there are some who ask why we don’t just ban such a video. Some say the answer is enshrined in our Constitution, which unfortunately protects the right to practice free speech. At least for now. Here in 2012, at a time when anyone with a cell phone can spread offensive views about me around the world with the click of a button, the notion that I can control the flow of information is obsolete. Of course, I've dedicated a few $Trillion to search for a way.

Meanwhile, in a totally unrelated story, Daily Caller Editor-in-Chief Tucker Carlson was arrested this morning - roughed, cuffed and perp-walked to an undisclosed location on suspicion of... uhhhh... jaywalking or something.

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