American rapper Snoop Dogg has tweeted a Top Ten list of reasons "Why I'm not voting for Romney" and "Why I'm voting for Obama."
I confess at first blush I didn't understand the political arguments Mr. Dogg was making due to an apparent language barrier. I had to run it through my Chatterbox Transistor Interpretor, which is a Pimp/rap to English language translator I designed in my workshop.
Here is what Snoop's instagram was really saying:
Snoop Dogg will not cast his vote for Mitt Romney because of his fair-skinned complexion due to the presence of the pigment haemoglobin, an iron-based oxygen-carrying molecule in his red blood cells.
Snoop Doggy Dogg plans to vote for Mr. Obama because his dark skin contains eumelanin, a form of melanin pigment located in the epidermis of the skin that Mitt's skin does not. Obama's dark skin offers better protection from intense ultraviolet light.
Dear Mister Dogg, You make a very compelling case sir! I must take and process this new information on skin pigmentation before I hastily make a rash decision to vote for Mr. Romney due to his overwhelming superiority over Obama in core values and morals, vision, competency and experience.
Now if only I could get my Chatterbox to figure out Snoop's philosophy and scholarly worldview in this "masterpiece". Sorry, yo gonna be humming this all day now.