Friday, March 20, 2009

Lions, Chimps, & Michael Jackson

Last week the Detroit Lions traded defensive tackle Cory Redding (and a fifth round draft pick) to the Seattle Seahawks for linebacker Julian Peterson.
Rhetardical Question: Why would the Lions trade one of the few talented players they had last year, who also happened to be a leader in the lockerroom with a good attitude? I know Julian Peterson is a great pickup, but he would have become available anyway! Detroit football fans may never get to re-live those glory years of 8-victory seasons enjoyed during the Fontes era with moves like this. *sigh*

Three more lions are getting a "new lease on life". No, I'm not talking about three more football players from last year's historic 0-16 season being given a ticket out of town to join Redding. I'm talking about the three lions currently living in a rat-infested junkyard in Kansas being relocated to the Detroit Zoo.

"Big cats' owner agreed to move after a man was mauled at sanctuary strewn with cars, junk."

The local sheriff said...
...the refuge was more junkyard than sanctuary, strewn with old cars, tires, cow skulls and rats. A man was mauled by a lion at the refuge in February after sticking his hand into their enclosure.
Toto, We ain't in friggin Kansas anymore. Who woulda thunk keepin lions as pets was dangerous? What could possibly go wrong? It's not like the junkman kept chimps and gave them cookies and wine in long-stemmed glasses, taking baths together and cuddling in the bed (in other words, treating them like Michael Jackson treated his overnight guests in Neverland).

In case you were lazy and didn't click, the above link is to about "Travis the Chimp", now famous for attacking and ripping off the face of it's owner. Speaking of which, maybe that's where Michael Jackson's nose went... Hmmmm.


  1. Funny post. I am trying to get excited about the new coach but fool me once shame on you, fool me 10 times...

    BTW, what about them Wolve's?

  2. This is a funny post, but we live pretty close to the 'junkyard zoo' in NWKS, and I'm really surprised an accident hasn't happened before.

    Of course, we still have one ostrich left from a large herd, and the past sheriff thought they would fly over the interstate and cause accidents. If they could fly, there would be a lot of accidents!

  3. Chuck- GO BLUE!
    LG- Tastes like chicken? Watch those fingers!
    PCC- If Pelosit got a makeover she might be that attractive... Nah.

    BTW, I know it was the chimp's owner's friend who was attacked because she sported a new hairdo. And I in no way meant to "incinerate" that Macaulay Culkin is responsible for Jackson's missing nose, so counsel for the actor need not contact me. Consider this an official retraction.

  4. It's a red meat, and tastes like the best beef around. No fat, no cholesterol, and yummy, but no market around here because everyone wants their BEEF!

    Their 'bite' was always worse than their bark, but you needed to watch out for their kick! YOW!

    It was fun while it lasted.

  5. I don't know enough about your team to compare it with the hit job that was done on the Tampa Bay Bucs recently. I guess time will tell.

  6. I'd heard John "THE BRECK GIRL" Edwards was coming out of his hole! OR, is that too big an insult to that animal there?