Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Let's play "WHO AM I?"

This individual has caused tensions to rise over the last week. This maniacal narcissist has been here before and is ready to thumb their nose at critics in the international community once again. Defense Secretary Robert Gates recent silence on this issue makes clear the U.S. is not prepared to do anything about it. Japan does not want this individual's debris scattered across their island nation. This individual was asked to "think twice" by a spokesman for Save the Children.

[Cue whistling of the Jeopardy theme in your head here]

If you answered North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, stop now and reread DaBlade's entire Chattering Teeth archives as punishment for failing to spot this simple misdirection. Just kidding. We don't torture here.

The correct answer is none other than American popstar and Material girl Madonna, who is back in Africa to use her fame and fortune in an effort to extract another Malawi orphan from their country and culture.

Don't misunderstand. I am not anti-adoption by any stretch. I have nothing but admiration for the love and dedication of couples who pool their limited resources in order to adopt and love a child. I do, however, question the righteousness of Madonna swooping in like some plantation Belle looking for another future musician to accompany her little David, the Malawi orphan she adopted in 2006 and shown here on lead guitar. The High Court in Lilongwe has adjourned the case reviewing Madonna's adoption application until Friday.

I do have a suggestion for Madonna that would speed up the lengthy process of filling out her stable of musicians, while throwing in an entire future dance troope! She needs to partner up with Octo-Mom, Nadya Suleman, to surrogate a batch of Malawian embryos. You've heard of the Jackson Five. Now comes the Octo-Malawians!

By the way, cube posted recently about a Three Stooges remake. Is it me, or wwould Kim Jong-Il be perfect as Larry Fine? Of course, it would depend on getting Putin to play Curly and Hugo Chavez as the ornery Moe. *sigh* We can dream, can't we?


  1. Madonna is a perfect candidate for an honorary degree from Notre Dame.

  2. To think this idiot is from Michigan. I have always been disgusted with her and Jolie adopting these kids from Africa as little trophies.

  3. I always thought Michael Bolton would make the perfect Larry- He has the hair for it and the same dumb look on his face.
    As for Madonna, She is doing all she can to stay in the public eye but at her age few care what she does.

  4. On one hand, i can't begrudge a child getting raised in the lap of luxury, on the other hand, he'll be raised with no father and an immoral woman who's done so much to cheapen things I find virtuous that....he's probably better off in an orphanage.
    What's more important? Money or Virtue?
    Her 12 year old daughter looks like she's 18 already, even the look in her eyes...

  5. Shang- You pushing my buttons? You know how ticked I am about the Obama at ND thing.
    Chuck- Yeah, but we produced so many others. Bob Seger more than cancels her out.
    Pic Pic- I don't think Bolton has any hair left, does he? Maybe I'm thinking of Howie Mandell.
    Z- I agree. Adoption should be limited to a married man and woman. Sorry Rosie.

  6. Yeah, yeah, just pushing the envelope a little. I'm glad you're back because I love reading something inciteful while drinking my morning coffee and I eagerly await your thoughts on the OND debacle.

  7. Good point on Seger, he cancels out a lot.